Dream of Forever
by soumanyon
Summary: No matter how much you want it, no matter how scary the alternatives, and no matter what the odds, forever can never last. And maybe it shouldn't. ShoxKei
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon**

**Chapter 1**

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It began as a routine drug bust.

We had been informed that a lucrative amount of money would be trading hands that night at the old abandoned shipping warehouse by the beach. Sho had jumped at the chance to return to the beach again. It held nothing but memories of chasing each other down on the sand and an evening spent among friends.

I don't blame Sho for occasionally forgetting that the beach unsettles me. I'm glad he isn't bothered with nightmares about an orange sunrise on that beach. He's lucky. I can never forget that day when Luka decided he was too tired with the world to go on and left me to survive alone. That beach symbolizes death to me.

After that first night of laughter and fun, Sho had asked me in that naive way of his whether it helped to displace my other memories of the beach. I tousled his hair like I used to do when he was younger, which annoyed him and he swiped at my hand. We both laughed it off and he forgot about the question that was left unanswered.

Of course not.

I could never forget Luka, even if I wanted to.

But my thoughts are drifting where I don't want them to go and with a final long drag from the half-smoked cigarette between my fingertips, I drop it and crush it under my heel as Sho fires off a last double round from the guns in each of his hands. Pushing off the wall that I'd been leaning against, I smirk. That's always been one of my proudest accomplishments; teaching Sho to wield guns with deadly accuracy in both hands. It's not an easy thing to do and I used to gloat over it. Of course, when Son entered our lives that fateful night with double guns, it threw me off a little. Now I don't gloat as much over it, although Sho has better aim than Son.

"Kei," He's walking over to me now, buckling one of the guns back into a hip holster. An eager grin is plastered on his face and I subtly roll my eyes at his antics. No doubt he'd be reliving that fight for weeks to come. And Shinji would only encourage him, despite his fond jealously of his little brother.

We head towards the stairs that lead up to main floor and I light up another cigarette on the way. Sho, cocky as hell now, steals my lit cigarette before I get a chance to take a breath and sticks it between his lips as he nudges past me.

"Baka." I mutter under my breath and tuck my hands into my coat pockets. He tosses his head back to smirk at me, the long braids flying around his face and I return an overly exaggerated roll of my eyes.

Finally he gives the cigarette back to me as we reach the top of the stairs. He holds it up for me and I casually grab it with my teeth from his fingers, surprising him. The subtle blush I can count on that action to elicit was well worth his stealing my cigarette for a few minutes.

But as soon as I take a breath, a clear, sneering voice rings out from our right,

"Cigarettes will be the death of you."

There was no more warning. Sho managed to raise his gun as I turned to the voice.

The first bullet strikes high on the right side of my chest. A perfect hit; it forms a neat little hole that was already seeping blood into my black shirt and I don't have to check to know that it went straight out my back. It was, after all, almost point blank. Goddammit, it hurt. I choke as the air rushes from my lung out through a hole in my chest that shouldn't be there. Blood wells up in my mouth and I can't hold back the wheezing cough that sprays it out on the ground in front of me.

That's when another bullet hits me in the stomach. The force of it pushes me back and I stumble against the wall, sliding down it and leaving a sick red trail from the two exit wounds in my back. My legs have given out on me and for a while, the sting, if it can be described so monotonously, keeps me motionless on the ground as I try to breathe.

Shit.

With an animalistic yell, Sho leaps into action with his two guns firing where we'd heard the voice. He fires off round after round but there's no scream, yell, or even the satisfying thud of a falling body. The only blood that I can smell is my own.

After emptying his clips and half from another two guns, he's satisfied that we aren't in too much danger for him to check on me. Sho runs to me with the same worry as when he was a little street kid written all over his face. Another reason why I hate getting shot. Sho gets so worried over me even though he knows that I can't die from something like a bullet wound. It just...stings. A lot.

"Kei!" he kneels down next to me as I try to tug my jacket closed as much as I can over the wounds. At least the shot missed my favorite red jacket but the blood stains were going to be hell to get out. But then again, that's why this jacket is my favorite. It can take a few blood stains and still survive.

"'m fine." I gasp out, surprised at the wispy, breathless sound of my own voice. Ah, the punctured lung. More like blown to hell. And back.

"Shit Kei! Why didn't you dodge those?" his voice is angry, but his hands are gentle as he easily knocks away my hold on my jacket. Carefully pulling the sides back, he glares at the wounds as if that would make them heal. At least with how dark the warehouse is and my black tank top, he can't see how much blood there is. And there's a lot, if that freezing draft over my chest and stomach is indicating anything. Then again, I'm always cold; you don't have much body heat when you're half dead. The only time I warm up a little is right after feeding and with all the blood I've lost, the pulsing jugular on Sho's neck looks even more attractive than usual.

I tear my eyes away from it even as my tongue flicks out to the corner of my mouth where a little of my own blood that had welled in my mouth had leaked out. A few drops of cooling blood makes the hot blood I can almost smell just under Sho's skin even more attractive. It's like a drug and I'm completely addicted, but I've never drank his blood and I never will, no matter how tempting it is at times. I just need to find one of the many corpses we've left around here.

"Kei, can you walk?" But even as he asks me, he's pulling me up by my left arm. We both know that it's not safe to stick around a 'dead' warehouse after you've just been attacked by a still at-large sniper. So much for dinner.

Walking is very painful. You don't realize how much your chest and back move when you walk until you try it with a bullet wound. We're moving too slow for either of us and I can sense Sho's growing impatience, his anger at not catching the sniper, and his concern for me. Stupid boy. I'm a vampire and vampires don't die, except by suicide.

"Sho," I whisper, not able to make my own pathetic voice any louder. I'm already breathless from walking. I try to pull away from him, but the kid's gotten stronger over the years. He won't let go of my arm. "Sho," I say again, this time since we've stopped, I have enough breath to make an audible sound.

"Let me walk the hell by myself." I snarl at him, wrenching my arm away. I'm not in a good mood. Being shot sucks.

He glares at me, still not letting go. I pull again and finally he releases my arm with a pouty 'fine, screw you'.

But I'm right, as always. Without me hanging off his arm, we're able to move much faster. We finally get to the car and I'm embarrassed that he opened the passenger side door for me without a word before vaulting over the hood and climbing into the driver's seat. Still, I wince as I get into the car and force my stomach to bend. My wound that was already beginning to scar over rips open again. Damn.

Without a word, Sho reaches across me and pulls my door shot and guns the car out of the parking lot.

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tbc... 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**A/N:** why am I too lazy to think up chapter titles?

Er, should I have mentioned that this will be shounen-ai?

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 2**

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When we finally get back to our apartment, Sho parks under the shade of a large oak and I breathe a sigh of relief. He gets out of the car so fast that I'm surprised the kid doesn't trip. I guess spending the last fifteen minutes in a car filled with the smell of burning skin isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. He leaves me alone for a minute and I wrap my arms around myself and curl around them. It hurts. 

Sho returns with a big black umbrella from God knows where and a thick blanket. He opens the passenger door and drapes the blanket around me before backing up a little to open the umbrella. It hurts so much to walk. The wound should have been getting better but I guess my body was spending its energy trying to keep me from bursting into flames.

A few minutes later after a snail-paced walk, we get into the apartment. I stand in the corner next to the door as Sho goes around shutting the heavy black drapes and cursing profusely about a fucking pizza boy who's getting his fucking key to the fucking apartment fucking taken away.

I end up accepting Sho's help as he leads me to my black leather bed. I lay down but I'm already feeling better. The stinging in my chest and stomach are numbing and now it's mostly my skin that itches. I scratch irritably at the scorched skin on the back of my hands.

"Do you want something to drink?" Sho asks, still concerned about my health. I turn my head away from him to face the wall,

"Blood." I murmur in a raspy voice before I can stop myself. Sho's eyebrows scrunch together as he considers it. But it's useless. Returning to the warehouse right now is out of the question and it would be difficult to kill somehow and drag the body back here in broad daylight.

"Do you want..." he begins, but I cut him off with a snarl,

"Don't tempt me!"

Even when he was a kid, he'd always offer when I needed it but I never accepted. It's too much of a temptation. Once I begin feeding, things fade and it's impossible for me to stop. I would never risk it with Sho.

He nods, although reluctantly, and goes to get a glass of water for me. As if water would help with my blood-craving.

My hand strays to my mouth and I instinctively bite down, but I stop myself before my fangs pierce the flesh. My eyes drift closed as I let my teeth graze over the skin, completely mesmerized with the sensation.

"Kei?" Sho's back with the water and I let my hand drop from my mouth, casually letting him see that there was no blood. I accept the water and sip at it, but it's more to occupy myself than to drink. When I set the glass of water down on the bedside table, I notice the other things that Sho brought with him; gauze and some disinfectant. I arch my eyebrow at the medical supplies.

"What are those for?"

"To bandage your wounds."

I laugh hollowly, before inquiring, "What for?"

Sho unravels the gauze calmly,

"It'll heal faster if I wrap them."

I snort, "Don't bother, they'll heal fast enough on their own."

"Not in time for tonight." Sho says as he uncaps the bottle of disinfectant.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, Toshi called." he patiently folds a piece of gauze into a small square pad, "Some old friends of ours are here tonight."

He reaches for the hem of my shirt but I swat his hand away and, with a disgruntled sigh, lift it up myself to expose the stomach wound.

"What old fr--" he presses the gauze dabbed with disinfectant on my wound and I hiss at the sting. Ouch, have to pause for a moment, "What old friends?"

Sho wipes at the edges of the wound, cleaning it out thoroughly, "Do you remember the toy cars?"

"The cars?" I ask, lifting my shirt up even more to expose the second wound,

"Yeah, the guys who put a fucking hole in my jacket." A note of annoyance creeps into his voice as he scowls. Ah. I remember now.

"What about them?"

"Well," Sho finishes cleaning the wounds, "Turn around."

"Hm?" I'm confused at the sudden change of subject,

"Turn around so I can get the exit wounds." Sho says and as soon as he mentions it, of course, I realize that half of my pain is coming from my back. I shake my head silently and let my shirt drop over my stomach again. This seemed to aggravate Sho.

"What the hell do you mean no? You can't just leave them!" But I recline back on my bed as if to say, the hell I can't.

"Kei," Sho growls before he grabs at my shirt. I knock his arm away but I guess the wounds are really much worse than I thought. I'm weakened so much that Sho grabs both my wrists in one hand and effortlessly holds them while his other hand is free to roughly turn me around and jerk up the back of my shirt.

I was paralyzed. Since when had the kid gotten that strong! Since when was I that weak? And, shit, he's looking at my back.

There's nothing I can do. His grip on my wrists is so strong that I don't even have to struggle to know there's no way I can break out of it. Better to just save myself the humiliation. Sho's completely silent and I squeeze my eyes shut as a small shiver runs through me at the sense of having eyes focused so intently where I don't want them.

"Done yet?" I ask, my voice bitter and cold. Sho seemed startled as he suddenly lets go of me. He avoids my eyes. Good. But he doesn't truly understand how much he's violated me.

On my back are tattooed a pair of angel wings. They cover the entire upper portion of my back and are placed on my shoulder blades, exactly where a real pair of wings would come from.

"They're beautiful." Sho offers awkwardly, but I snort softly,

"Devil wings would be more fitting, wouldn't they?" Sho says something but it's muffled.

Now that he's seen them, there's no harm in him seeing them again. With a sigh, I turn to face the wall and take off my shirt. There's nothing to hide anymore.

Sho is understandably hesitant but eventually moves forward to dress the two holes in my back. I can feel that one of them is situated right in middle of a wing in a very familiar spot.

In the end, as good as it felt to have the wounds all dressed and bandaged up, the sensation of someone staring at me the entire time was not particularly enjoyable, no matter how comfortable I am with Sho...

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tbc...

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Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!

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_MistressofDarkness, Emiri-chan, Tixxana,Yume2x1, AestheticAngel, thegangofgravity_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n:** interchapter

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 3**

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As soon as the dream began, I recognized it.

At first, it's completely dark. My senses come to me one by one; the first is sound. Slowly, the crunching gravel under boots becomes louder and louder. Luka and I are walking to the beach. I can feel my own restlessness. I wish we could fly; it'd be so much faster. But Luka doesn't have the strength for that anymore and he hasn't for quite a while now. I always loved flying and now it's one of the only things I still enjoy about being a vampire. That, and getting to be with Luka all the time.

But in my dream, I'm young and ignorant and being a hunter of the night is still fascinating. That makes it even worse when I finally let go of my stubborn denial as to why Luka wanted to come to the beach.

Now we're at my favorite part of the dream. It's what makes having this repetitive nightmare so enjoyable, even I'm not so masochistic. It's just me and Luka on the long stretch of perfect sand. The sky's beginning to lighten and we both blink at the beauty of it that surpasses beyond measure anything artificial. I hadn't seen sunlight in so long.

Luka had begun to stay out entire nights just to catch as long a glimpse of the sun as he could as it rose. I'd teased him about being conceited. After all, he'd start to tan after being in the sun for so long. He's more used to the light than me. His eyes adjust much faster. By the time the splotches fade from my vision, he's already seated near the tide line, watching the light shimmer play over the ocean.

"Kei?" he says, his voice strangely young again. It brings back nostalgic memories that I thought he'd buried long ago. Luka doesn't like remembering his human life.

"Hm?" I ask him. Still staring out at the waves, Luka starts humming an ancient familiar tune.

"Yuugure ni…"

"Luka, don't." I protest desperately, my good mood dissipating with the first rays that peek out from beyond the distant horizon. But he keeps singing, ignoring me,

"...Kimi to mita," His voice is as horrible as ever. In my dream, I can't help but scoff at him. It's tragically humorous, in a way. That was always a point of dispute between us.

"Orenji no…" a single tear slips down my cheek. A terrible foreboding clenches around my chest, "Taiyou."

"Luka, come on. Let's go." I try to keep my voice light even as I know, I already realize that… he's not coming back with me. Inside I'm dying with guilt; furious thoughts are flying through my head. Why didn't I notice? All the signs pointed to this, but I couldn't accept the fact that my best friend was leaving me.

"Kei…" Luka says in that familiar, patient, condescending tone of his, but his voice sounds so exhausted.

"No, Luka." My voice is hinting at some of my anger, my indignance at this betrayal, "You can't do this, Luka. You can't do this to me!"

He turns to me with tired eyes that have already given up.

"So selfish," he murmurs fondly, his voice taking on a faraway feel, "As always." But still he smiles one last time, such a rare smile. I realize with a jolt that I haven't seen him smile for so long that'd I'd gotten used to not seeing it.

The smile creases the little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

Since when have those been there?

But a sad note slowly creeps into the smile,

"I'm sorry, Kei."

"Luka, you can't!" I yell, scream at him, my precious composure blown to hell as my immature temper takes over, "You fucking can't!" But it's as if he doesn't hear me. He's staring at the waves with an earnestness that I can't understand.

The sunrise seems impossibly fast, as if it was all sped up just for the purpose of robbing my best friend from me even sooner, or maybe to do it quickly to spare me the pain. It doesn't help.

I stayed with him as long as I could, trying to think, yelling at myself to think of something to say, something to do that would change his mind. But it's too late and time runs out on me. I stayed with him for as long as I could, but finally, wordlessly, I got up and ran away to take shelter. The light was becoming unbearably hot.

When I reach the soothing shadow of the huge boulders, I'm panting even though they aren't very far away. Trying to catch my breath and struggling with the moisture building up in my eyes, I lean my forehead on the cool black rock, trying to block out the world. More than once, I considered running back out to sit with Luka but couldn't quite work up the courage to do it. I'm such a coward.

Luka, my best friend…

No!

I tear myself away from the rockface, having come to the realization that none of it was worth it without him. Nothing. But he was worth everything and anything, including suffering horrible death that was only fitting to end such a horrible life. Why does he have to be so noble?

But when my searching eyes find where he was sitting, all I can see is a huge flame crackling and sparking next to the tide.

I think I screamed, but even though I know it's just a memory, just a dream, I'm too distraught to discern any words that I screamed afterwards. I try to run to him, but I trip over my own feet and fall to my knees, still in the shadow of the rocks as I watch the flame burn with tears streaming down my face for the first time in so many years.

Soon nothing is left of my best friend except for my memories of him and a small pile of black ash. The newly risen sun is bright, my eyes feel burned by the glare off the crisp blue water that I haven't seen for so long. The ocean is always a frightening vast blackness at night. It's so beautiful, the perfect place for Luka. My eyes slowly pull away from the water to the beach.

There is only one mar on the serene white sand.

Then, as a final blow to my heart, I can't even go out to collect his final ashes. I hide in the scant shade of my rock and watch numbly as the wind from the sea picks up his ashes and disperses them into the air. Just like that he's gone.

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tbc...

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Apparently my interpretation of Luka and Kei's relationship slips a little bit AU but not so noticeably, considering we find out next to nothing about Luka or Kei's past in the movie. It will be different, but keep an open mind and you'll be fine.

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_Yume2x1, Emiri-chan, Tixxana, Taylor Mercury, Yume no Kokoro, AestheticAngel, goku-the-saru, TheTrueSilver, skyofdestiny, TehMeev, _  



	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n**: Finally a whole chapter dedicated to ShoxKei, but it's unrequited...or is it?

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 4**

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"Kei…Kei!" his voice pulled me away from gritty sand and salty ocean breezes but when I woke up, my face was still salty, from tears, I guess. I licked my dry lips, trying to find something to say, some excuse for having had such a reaction to that old nightmare again as I blinked the blinding spots from my imagined sunlight out of my eyes. But I couldn't bring myself to meet Sho's concerned gaze that burned into me. 

Instead, I silently stood up and, when I felt that my legs had solidified enough to walk me to the bathroom, I went. I needed a shower to wash off the cold sweat that, in my twisted mind, reeked of sea salt.

Sho and I had a agreement that he wouldn't try to save me from my nightmares unless it was a really bad one and he'd seen enough during all his years with me to tell the bad ones from the really bad ones. God, I swear even Toshi would be able to tell with the years he'd lived across the alley from me.

Sho's reluctant acceptance of the agreement had arisen completely out of guilt that I'd somehow turned on him. Once, when he and I first started living together after Shinji and Toshi moved out, Sho woke me up from a particularly bad nightmare, and half-asleep, I attacked him. I guess in a half-awake state, old instincts come back and the caution that the streets forces on you is never completely abandoned.

I guess it was true for Sho, too, because he immediately saw my fist and reacted. My throat was bruised for weeks afterwards.

In the end, it didn't take much more than a few carefully timed cracks reminding him of my injury to get him to fold; how ironic it was for a vampire to be the one sporting an injured throat. I guess I should be guilty about magnifying his own guilt when it was really my fault in the beginning, but he accepted it without question and it was the only way to avoid any repeats in the future; something that wouldn't be fun for either of us.

I guess…I was a little embarrassed. I'd begun to feel at home in this environment, with Sho. It was a lot more peaceful sharing a small apartment on the outskirts of Mallepa than sleeping on the streets completely alone. The nightmares had faded and I'd let myself believe, at least on the surface, that they were fading for good.

But nightmares are like that, in that they never really leave you alone. I guess the voice at the factory reminded me of that. Ironically, it's almost funny that one bad decision would end up haunting me through all these years…

"Kei?" Sho knocked on the door to the bathroom, obviously deciding that I'd been too quiet for too long after the water shut off from my shower. I ignored him a little longer, turning back to what I should have been doing while daydreaming.

I finger-combed my hair into at least some kind of look. I succeeded in flattening it, but that was only because it was still wet from the shower. It never did obey me after I cut it.

"Kei?" Sho asked, impatient now, and I opened the door with still only a towel wrapped around my waist.

We were suddenly face to face without the door separating us…or rather, face to chest. I suppose the runt has grown a little; after my reminiscing, I still had the image of little Sho in my head. His hand was poised to knock at about the height of my forehead. Instead, he opened his fist and patted me on the head. Brat.

I glared at him disdainfully before shoving past him to my closet in search of clothes.

I was incredibly self-conscious, having just been seen in a vulnerable moment and having had my tattoo finally exposed to him only hours ago. Which reminded me…my tattoo…

I only had the towel wrapped around my waist, my upper body was naked which meant that my tattoo had been bared to Sho yet again. Sure enough, I felt the tingling in the back of my neck that tells you that someone's watching.

I checked and, of course, Sho was staring,

"What are you looking at?" I asked him, fully aware of how stupid that line sounded…after I'd said it.

Sho has always been an honest kid. He has a tendency to say whatever's on his mind and despite that being a value to many people, not so many people actually do it so it blindsides you when he does,

"Your ass." He said, no trace of mockery in his voice whatsoever.

I turned around fully, crossing my arms and arching an eyebrow at him skeptically. I had to fight with myself to keep my lips turned down in a scowl instead of curving up into a grin as his face steadily flushed. I guess I succeeded too well, because his face went from his normal tan to red to white in a matter of seconds.

"Hehe," he chuckled nervously, "you look like you're going to cut off my balls and feed them to rats."

The comparison from out of nowhere almost caught me past my defenses. He must have heard it from Toshi, only the pizza boy could've made up such a disgusting threat.

"Maybe I am." I said, just to string him along a little more, a sort of revenge from the tattoo incident, if you will.

But I should've known better, my attempts at revenge always backfire. Sho's demeanor suddenly changed and he didn't look so afraid anymore. Instead, his eyes blazed with some sort of nervous but determined fire. I had no idea Sho was such a good actor.

"Only if you're the rat." He said huskily in that deep voice of his. That comment can't be credited to Toshi, only Sho could think of something so random on the spot.

The comment was so ridiculous that it wasn't and managed to poke a stick at my already weak defenses. Hope is a bitter lover and it had poisoned me. It lied dormant until I weakened, just a little, until it could crash out of its cage and rampage. And I'd have to clean up its mess.

"Maybe I already was." The quiet reply was out in the open before I realized that it came from me and my mocking grin was seconds too late to disguise it without some suspicion. Of course, Sho latched on to that suspicion, determined, it seemed, to prolong my misery.

He leaned forward suddenly and I felt trapped. He seemed to be catching me more and more often in these compromised situations and it was annoying the hell out of me. I retreated a step, right into the coffee table, it would seem. It caught me in the back of my knee and my leg buckled before I could regain my balance but Sho had stretched out a hand to steady me and now that hand was firmly clasping my elbow.

He really looked like he would kiss me. I suppose, Sho was nothing if not determined but I'd determined that the little jest had gone on too far. If he wasn't careful, if I wasn't careful, I'd do something we'd both regret; something that'd poison his life forever.

I shoved him away roughly, muttering an excuse, something about needing a cigarette. And then, to back up my entirely truthful claim, I went to take that cigarette in the dark corner of the couch, flipping on the TV and tuning him out while, a loose bundle of nerves, I sat and stared unseeingly at some show.

God, Sho…I just saved you from the worst mistake of your life and you don't even know it.

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tbc...

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Hehe, I'm not good with complicated plots, but we'll see where this goes. I lied when I said this chapter was completely ShoxKei, it's not. There are plenty of juicy bits that you'll come remember later and go, "ah! that's what that was!" (or maybe not, who knows) But for now, I'll leave you wondering. ;)

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_Tixxana, Myca (Taylor Mercury), Yume no Kokoro, TehMeev, Yume2x1, Emiri-chan, Lady-Willowish, Essenity_  



	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n**: Kei protects his innocent Sho from the man in the snakeskin pants.

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 5**

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I was still a bundle of nerves as I leaned back against the sofa to hide my trembling. It was cold in just a towel and as soon as I'd settled down enough to walk, I headed over to grab my clothes that I had chosen and slipped them on right in the living room. Sho had disappeared, probably to the kitchen if his loud cursing and banging of pans indicated anything. 

Finally comfortable in leather pants and a clingy tank top that I believe was dark red, I sank back down onto the couch. I was still trembling a little.

Aside from the cold…Sho had touched on a fresh, sensitive wound for me. I don't quite remember when my protective tendencies towards the cute little kid changed into something more. I guess it's the fatal kid-next-door syndrome. Your normal, natural, even boring friendship disguises the other feelings that sneak up behind you to hit below the belt.

It was a contradicting thing. It felt like my new eyes towards Sho had developed overnight, so to speak. Somehow a night's sleep must have had a super-speed cocoon effect on him and his adorable curious kid stare turned into a completely adult come-hither tease. But at the same time, it also felt like my feelings for him developed subtly, slowing inching into me and it was only my noticing that had been sudden.

Whenever the feelings had developed, they were there and now that they were, for all practical purposes, out in the open, I finally had to deal with them. There was no rug corner in the world big enough to sweep this mess under. All I could hope for was that Sho didn't notice…and even he can't be that dense. Despite his cloud-headedness most of the time, Sho was, to say the least, extremely capable in the subject of romance.

The feel of fire tickling at my fingertips finally brought me out of my musings. Damned cigarette had burned all the way to the filter in the time that I had spent introverted. Muttering a curse about cheap cigarettes under my breath, I stabbed it vengefully into the ash tray on the coffee table, also taking the time to grab the remote while I was bent over.

When I went to change the channel, I finally realized what I was watching and my eyes must have been completely round.

"What the hell?" I muttered, quickly changing the channel even as I felt the blush spreading up into my face. I prayed to God that Sho hadn't seen that…and that he didn't think I was watching that, that, whatever the hell it was.

I guess God doesn't much like vampires…

"Wait, wait, go back!" Sho protested, slurping up his mouthful of ramen as he set the Styrofoam cup down and headed over, I suppose, intent on grabbing the remote from me. Did I say Sho seemed more adult? Maybe that's only when he speaks with his eyes and not his mouth.

"You want to watch that?" I gaped in disbelief, all the awkwardness between us forgotten for now, as Sho obviously had. When had he made the ramen? Was I really out of it that long?

"Hell yeah!" Sho exclaimed, dropping onto the sofa next to me and lifting the remote from my grasp. He was still holding his chopsticks in his other hand as he hit the 'recall' button and went back to that channel. My gape increased as I realized that he knew exactly what channel to go to.

Rolling my eyes subtly, I picked the chopsticks out of his hands and slapped them on the coffee table so we wouldn't forget about them. I was trying my hardest not to look at the TV screen but when Sho began to hum along with whatever they were singing, I couldn't deny my curiosity any longer.

On the screen was an incredibly feminine man. The only thing that prevented me from making a crack about him was that I'd been mistaken as…slightly feminine and I guess I sympathized with him a little. His pants were the gaudiest things I've seen, even compared with the horrors contained in Sho's wardrobe. They were, to my trying-not-to-look eyes, some kind of snake skin.

Focusing on his outfit and the man himself helped take a little of my attention off of what he was actually doing on stage, other than singing. It was...indescribable.

I turned my attention back to Sho only to see that his eyes were following the man's movements across the stage with glee. Combined with Sho's childishness and my stubborn denial of whatever the hell I felt towards him, my protective streak kicked in a little.

I ripped the power cord out of the wall.

Instantly the room was plunged into darkness. Fuck. I guess the wiring in these older buildings suck. I just killed off all the electricity in our apartment and, judging from the sudden angry yells from nearby, the nearby apartments, too. Fuck.

My eyes adjusted quickly enough to tell that Sho was seething on the couch, pouting after his gay porn fix had been abruptly interupted. Better distract him before he gets on a tantrum.

Pulling back some curtains to glance outside, I judged by the moon that it was about time to take that job that Sho had mentioned earlier. Something about the toy car people. I'd call Toshi at the first pay phone to get the details.

"Rest up tonight," I told him, walking over to the door where I grabbed his white leather jacket.

He protested but I made him repeat himself after he swallowed his mouthful of ramen so that I could make out that he was asking me where I was going and with his jacket. Apparently his night vision is better than I thought.

I pulled the jacket on over my red shirt, it was a little big but I could deal with baggy. Unlike Sho, I do wear things that don't cling to my skin. Twirling a gun in my hand, I nodded to the bullet hole in his jacket and he understood.

"I'll come with you." He volunteered, even setting down his ramen but I turned him down,

"I'll go myself, rest up." I said, grabbing another gun and tucking it in the back of my belt just to reassure him. Not like I actually needed the damn things and hell of a lot of good they'd do for me if I got myself in a situation where I couldn't do anything else. But I guess they comforted Sho because he nodded, dropping back onto the sofa to sip at his ramen broth.

Time to get my own dinner.

"Don't wait up for me, I'll be gone until morning." I tossed over my shoulder, opening the door to the refreshing night air.

"I'll probably be gone by then?" Sho asked, a questioning tone in his voice that I didn't understand.

"Hm?" I arched an eyebrow curiously, inviting him to explain. Exasperatedly, he set down his empty ramen cup and met my eyes. "Yi-che's gallery, remember?"

Ah. Sho had mentioned it weeks ago, as nervously as a preteen talking about their secret crush. He always tiptoed around the Yiche issue with me, knowing that I was the object of her interests. The whole triangle confused the poor boy so much. He didn't want a girl to come between us but he couldn't kill his jealously of me for unwilling taking his desired spot in her eyes.

Yi-che's art was to be displayed at a local gallery and the opening was going to be a deal. Finally she'd start to get recognition and Sho and Son were pleased as hell about it. The whole thing didn't matter much to me, but I indulged Sho.

"I might come." I said, and we both understood this to mean that it depended on the weather. In reality, it didn't, as I'd checked the forecast for the next day and it was scheduled to be brilliant sunshine all day. But the offer satisfied Sho, in some inane way. He was happy that I could come as a kid is happy to get someone older to do their bidding but he was nervous that Yiche's attention would be focused on me. For all I cared, she could like who she wanted...as long as it wasn't Sho. And while her eyes were on me, they weren't on Sho.

I stepped outside, closing the door behind me softly. It was better than I'd planned. With this distraction, Sho would think that I took this job by myself to let him rest up for tomorrow and Yi-che's gallery reveal. He wouldn't suspect that my hunger was getting so bad that images of sugarblood fairies were dancing in my head. God, staring in the mirror after the shower, I forgot for a moment that the image was my reflection and not potential prey.

The blood lost from my wounds compounded my hunger from before and I was starving. I needed blood badly and once I had it, it wouldn't be pretty. Sho didn't need to see it.

I stopped at the second pay phone from the apartment to call up Toshi. He was psyched to go again and do things right this time. I only needed a few directions. Turned out that he was already there, staked out a block or two from the place so that by the time I got to the building, my victims would already be knocked out from his pizza.

It went according to plan this time. The entire gang was stupid, it seemed, and none of them remembered the idiotic pizza boy from their previous meeting. None of them became suspicious of the pizza and the gluttons had all eaten enough that they'd be out even without drugs in the food.

I gathered a nice chunk of cash, divvying it up between myself and Toshi then and there so he could get going. The rest of the much larger chunck I tucked into one of the handy zipper pockets on Sho's jacket. And then I cursed as I noticed a spot of blood on the zipper. But as it hadn't yet dried, it was relatively easy to dab off.

Staring down at my selected victim, I took off the jacket and set it behind me. Didn't want it to get dirty.

The person I'd chosen was pretty young, early twenties or so. I remembered him from our last encounter. I guess Sho had only scratched him with his bullets, must have missed all of his vital organs. He seemed good enough, and without any ceremony, I grabbed his collar and the hair on the top of his head to tilt his head back and expose his neck.

God damn pizza boy must have miscalculated again because as soon as my fangs pierced his neck, the boy flinched and started coming to. I ignored him, already too caught up in the taste of his blood to care. It was hot, straight from a living body and I didn't have to work at all. His heart was still beating healthily, unknowingly pumping his blood around his body and out the punctures in his neck.

Once the drugs cleared a little, I think he started struggling because I had to tighten my grip on him. I don't know if he yelled. All I could hear was the thumping of his heart as it beated louder and faster to circulate a decreasing amount of blood through a terrified boy. I guess he just didn't eat as much pizza as the others, because he got no help. Everyone else in his gang remained knocked out.

His struggling stopped as the decreasing supply of oxygen to his brain made him light-headed and he realized that his fate was inevitable. But as his perception began to fade over, mine sharpened and I could suddenly hear my own heartbeat over his, which was slowing down as less blood was available to keep feeding his heart. He was dying.

I dropped him and he rolled off my lap where I guess I had dragged him in order to keep him still. He was still breathing but shallowly and his eyes were closed. In that moment of peace, where all of the fight had disappeared from his face and his bangs were tousled over his pale face, he seemed to lose years and looked so young.

And then reality flooded back to me.

He was just a kid, a twenty something kid that was slowly dying on the ground of a dirty building littered with the comatose but otherwise living bodies of his gang. Why did I pick him? Why not any of the obviously more decorated criminals all around me. Why him, why, when he looked so innocent?

I barely had the presence of mind to grab Sho's jacket as I ran out of the building at vampire speed. I ducked into the landscaping next to the wall but even with my head between my knees, I forced myself to stop the gag reflex that I could feel building up in the pit of my stomach as my self-disgust welled. If I threw up, it'd make taking his life all the more worthless and cruel.

In the end, I recovered, but I couldn't make myself go back into the building. I slipped Sho's jacket around my shoulders, the warm night suddenly felt so much colder.

* * *

tbc...

* * *

I didn't want to end it yet but it was getting too long...XD It was so much fun writing prudish Kei as he gaped at, can you guess? Vanilla live. Which I had to rewatch just to write this chapter. Reference material, you know? Right, Kei?

* * *

_Tixxana, Essenity, Lady-Willowish, Bea_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n**: Thanks to Tixxana, YaoiKitty, and fujipuri for correcting me on Yi-Che's name.

* * *

**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 6**

* * *

It was getting towards morning when I finally pulled enough of my wits about me to realize that I needed to find someplace to hide, quickly. I didn't want to head back to the apartment yet and face Sho's questioning. It wasn't often that we went on missions alone and whenever I came back from a solo, Sho's questioning was worse than a worried mom after a late prom night and I really didn't think I could face him yet. 

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I had fed and that always caused awkwardness, mainly from me. My self-esteem was always so low after feeding that Sho would infallibly try to cheer me up. Then I'd push him away and he would get mad at me for thinking so little of myself. I really didn't want to deal with that.

So I decided to head over to the art gallery, hoping to catch a sneak preview of Yi-Che's artworks so that I'd have at least a mental image of what Sho would moon over for the next couple of weeks.

It turns out the Yi-Che is secretly a procrastinator and the walls of the gallery were completely blank. Snorting, I headed back to the backroom that I'd broken in through but I guess I had spent longer getting here than I'd thought and the sky was beginning to lighten. There was no way that I could get back to the apartment in time to escape some scorched flesh which I happened to also not want to deal with.

So, with a frustrated sigh, I wedged myself into a corner of the backroom between two crates and decided to catch some shut-eye. I planned to sleep through the day and browse the paintings before I could head back home after sunset.

Fate just doesn't seem to like vampires.

I woke promptly at ten in the morning with the blazing midmorning sun streaming in through the crack in the door that led to the gallery. I heard crisply the tinkle of bells that seemed to be coming from the door into the gallery from the street and, overlaying it, Sho's voice.

When I could forget the reason why, enhanced senses after feeding were a godsend.

I heard a second voice, Son. Sho and Son were bickering again. It seemed they were arguing over who was carrying the heavier painting. Then they suddenly went silent, both of them. So, Yi-Che was there, too.

When Sho spoke again, his voice was a lot closer, he'd obviously made him way to the back of the gallery. I let my eyes slide close again briefly as I concentrated on what they were saying. Chinese has never been my strong suit. I can speak a little but it's often so accented and terrible that I have to repeat myself multiple times to understand.

My listening is only slightly better. I can understand it if it's said slowly and Japanese-accented Chinese is easier to understand for me but when Sho and Son start to chatter, I get lost, like now. Sho's Chinese is good enough that it's hard for me to understand. It has a Taiwan tinge to it that I've only started getting used to through being around Son so much. Usually when I was around, Sho spoke more slowly on purpose but he didn't know I was here and their chattering was hard to follow.

After a few minutes, I realized that he was adjusting a painting while Son was calling out directions. Left, right, left again

I snorted softly, getting up to peek through the crack in the door. Since the wall was just to the left of the storeroom, I couldn't see Sho. But even though I couldn't see him, I knew there was no way the painting could be as low as where Son's eyes were going.

The fucking pervert was using the painting as an excuse to stare at Sho's ass!

I was considering how difficult it'd be to explain why I was hiding out in the backroom of the gallery if I jumped out at Son when he disappeared from my range of sight, towards Sho. Son had lowered his voice so I chanced pushing the door open a little more to better hear them but all I ended up hearing was a very low groan from Sho and a whispered, eager "please!" from Son.

Please what?

They were quiet for a little longer. All I could hear was breathing and the occasional rustling of clothes. What the hell were they doing?

Then Sho acquiesced in a frustrated growl, "This is the last--" and the door that I'd been leaning against was wretched open, flooding the small backroom with blinding light.

I ducked my head to avoid it but quickly looked up to see exactly what I'd thought.

Son's arms were around Sho's neck, his fingers tangling in some of Sho's braids while Sho's arms were loosely around Son, his hands lost somewhere up the back of the man's shirt.

"K-Kei!" Sho seemed stuck between hiding his red hands under Son's shirt and pulling away. His face flushed bright red as he just stood there, as shocked as I was with no idea what to do or say. Son, meanwhile, stood, arms still casually around Sho's neck with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Forget it." I muttered, saving Sho the embarrassment that anything he said would have caused. I shoved past the two of them, maybe brushing by Son a little harder than necessary. After passing by the lovely couple, I was stuck on what to do. It was brilliant daylight outside so I couldn't really leave the gallery, much as I wanted to. But I was seriously contemplating it when I felt a small tug on my elbow.

I turned around, annoyed to be stopped but saw that it was just Yi-Che in a flowery yellow sundress. She smiled at me, to tell me that she was happy to see me, and motioned with her arm, as if inviting me to look around then ducked her head shyly. Although I really wasn't interested in her, she looked cute.

I am a fucking cold-hearted son of a bitch and what I did then completely proved it. Without bothering to glance back at the storeroom where I could hear Sho and Son speedily arguing, presumably about me, I slowly followed Yi-Che to a painting returning her smile. Sho and Son's voices faded away and I was sure that Son was watching.

Yi-Che and I stared at her painting and she pointed out a few details that must have been some key points. Not like I understood any of the silent commentary. I was more interested in her bare shoulder. When she paused to give me another one of her little smiles, I dropped my hand casually on her shoulder.

Her eyes went to my hand, then to my face. I smiled disarmingly, gently turning her around to face me. She solemnly stared at me as I tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear for her then slid my fingers light as a feather down her graceful jaw line. The pretense wasn't that hard to carry on, she really was a very pretty girl.

My fingers having reached her chin, I slowly lifted it with very little resistance from her and leaned forward to kiss her. Her eyes slid closed and she leaned forward too without any other prompting from me. I guess Sho's fears were head-on. The girl must really see something in me. That realization was moving, and I was intent on kissing her when she was roughly pulled from me and before I really knew what was happening, I was down on the ground with an exploding white light blinding my vision.

The pain stunned a gasp from me which was choked out as I felt a hard boot hitting me right in my stomach making me curl up in pain. Then the assault was over. I heard some signs of a struggle, a furious yell from Sho and an equally furious yell from Son but my vision had yet to clear. I blinked a few times, realizing I was still curled protectively around my middle on the ground and pushed myself up.

Having just fed the night before, I healed before the bruises could even form but god, that hurt! Concussions take a little longer to heal that bruises so I was a little dizzy as I got up and could feel the nausea building up; the kick to the stomach sure hadn't helped things. I felt like I was going to throw up.

Then a strong arm steadied me, sliding around my waist and pulling me to a warm body. Sho. I almost pushed him away but I was too dizzy on my feet to stay standing if I didn't have his support. Son's punch must have sent my head into the wall.

I absently looked behind to check and winced. Red blood stained the corner of the wall where the doorway to the backroom met the gallery's wall. God, not just any wall but a corner. With a sigh, I patted the back of my head, feeling a wet spot and wincing in pain. My stomach recoiled again in nausea after I touched the spot but Sho noticed and swatted my hand away.

He and Son were fighting now. I guess Sho was defending me from Son's protective spiel. They were again talking too quickly for me to understand, even if I could hear them over the pounding in my head. God, concussions suck. I slumped against Sho a little and apparently that only fueled his anger and I stumbled as he started to drag me out of the gallery.

I have no idea what happened, my attention was focused on one foot after the other, trying not to trip over my own feet or trip Sho as we left. He had the car outside and opened the front passenger door, stuffing me inside and grabbing a black blanket from under the seat that he threw over me. He slammed the door, going over to his own side and got in, again slamming the door.

"Do you mind?" I murmured, still sensitive to loud noises even though my vision was clearing.

He only spared me one look, a glare, as he started the ignition and took off again.

I settled for pulling the blanket up over my head and gingerly leaning back against the headrest. What was it with Sho, cars, and driving away in a huff?

* * *

tbc...

* * *

Yup, Kei was being a bastard in this chapter. Poor Yi-Che, but what can you expect when you fall in love with a vampire? Silly girl, he's a vampire, a _vampire_. Kei'll do some things he's not proud of and he now has some justification for beating himself up over being a monster all the time. 

And besides, jealousy will do that to a person...;)

* * *

_TheTrueSilver, fujipuri, YaoiKitty, Tixxana, Essenity_  



	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n:** I rather like Son. Of course, not enough to pair him up with Sho or Kei. At least not in this fic.

* * *

**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 7**

* * *

By the time we got back to the apartment, the symptoms from my concussion were mostly gone although my vision was still a little blurred at the edges. It was nothing I couldn't deal with after retreating to my cool, dark futon. I decided to relax for a little before getting up to tackle the bloody mess that was my favorite red jacket. 

Dried blood is a bitch to clean, as I soon found out. I'd never really sustained any serious injuries before and when I did, it wasn't as if a little blood stain mattered much to me. But now, according to Sho, we had higher standards and it wouldn't look good for me to run around in blood-stained clothes. Like I did much running around anyway.

But I humoured the boy, as I'd gotten very used to doing through the years and set to scrubbing the stains from the back of my jacket.

By the time I finished with that spot, I wasn't in any mood to take out the stains on the inside of the jacket. Sho wouldn't see them, anyway so I cleaned them roughly and declared it done. The jacket was definitely not new anymore but what did that matter.

A glance at the floor near the bottom of the curtain declared that it was getting to sunset so I got up to knock at Sho's door. When we got home, he promptly took back his white jacket that I'd borrowed and retreated to his room, not quite slamming the door but shutting it firmly enough that I'd decided enquiring would be useless.

"Sho, wake up." I said, waiting a few courtesy seconds before opening the door to let myself in.

His room was dark except for the underlit fishtank but I could see well enough to discern his messy bedhead sprawled over his bed.

He never used to sleep that way—sprawled out carelessly. On the streets, you slept curled up as if turning your back to the world offered some weak sort of protection. The habit had lasted for a few weeks after we got our first apartment but Sho, it seemed, was very quick to adapt and soon learned that locks provided a very good feeling as did, I suppose, having a vampire by your side as you slept.

He didn't, of course, have that luxury for very long. When he started to take up more than three-quarters of the bed with lengthening limps and long hair sensitive to pulls, I had decided for both of us that we were moving to a bigger apartment, one where he could have his own room and his own bed and I could actually sleep on mine without the threat of melting into the wall every night.

Speaking of hair, I leaned over him to ruffle it, smiling at the sight. His face was buried in his pillow as he tried to block out the light coming in through his door and my annoying presence. He swatted at my hand but missed completely, of course.

"Sho, wake up." I said again but was only answered with a half-annoyed, half-whiny grunt of a sound, "Sho." I said, more firmly this time, pulling gently at his hair now tangled in my fingers.

"Owwww…" he whined, taking on a tone that you'd never catch him making around anyone else.

At least my actions gave their results and he sat up, although stubbornly refusing to open his eyes and scratched at the back of his head sleepily.

"Wake up, baka." I teased, slapping his head as I got up, stretched, and left him to wake up by himself. I heard a "baka" murmured under his breath as I left the room but only grinned as I laid back down on my futon.

A few minutes later, I heard him yawning and shuffling to the bathroom. I guess he didn't get much sleep the night before. He must have stayed up to wait for me even after I told him not to. Stubborn as always.

After I heard the shower turn on, I went back to his room to pick up his treasured jacket that he'd tossed over a chair back and took it back to its place near the apartment door. I idled a little, cleaning up the place until he came out of the bathroom in a towel.

Sho was weird like that. When he was little, he was so shy that he wouldn't even take his shirt off to swim with Toshi or Shinji when they went off on their little trips to the beach. I knew because of all the teasing he endured from Toshi for that. In his adolescence, Toshi, crude as always, kept up the teasing, asking if Sho was actually growing breasts under his baggy shirts.

As Sho got older and passed his mid-teens, he lost that shyness all of a sudden. It got so bad he'd come out of the shower dripping wet and absolutely naked. I dealt with it like an exasperated parent and yelled at him for trekking water all over the carpet. Luckily, he got over that stage.

Sho headed over to my section of the apartment, dragging over the white chair that he'd long ago claimed as his to the edge of my futon. I sighed, smiling to myself as I joined him, kneeling on the futon behind him as he sat down. I used to be able to sit down on my futon as still reach, but unfortunately he grew.

He flipped his loose hair over the back of the chair as he held his hand out, palm full of little rubber bands. It was such a vain thing that he insisted on, keeping his hair in little braids. I have only Shinji to blame, as always. Sho still idolizes his brother.

I set to combing out the wet hair, separating it as I went into little locks before I set to braiding. It didn't take too long and once in a while I'd take the liberty of speeding it up with vampiric abilities but today was one of those days that I didn't mind doing this for him and took my time. It was one of the intimate things we had together and it was a calming few minutes for the both of us.

Unless, of course, I was in a bad mood and pulled on his hair. Then it wasn't nearly so soothing for him as it was for me. But I hadn't done that since the last time he practiced target shooting with a few blue glass "trinkets" that he had found lying around the apartment.

This time I was careful not to pull.

"Done." I said, tossing a few of the finished braids over his shoulder. He turned his head to grin at me, giving me my customary kiss on the cheek to say thanks. More and more, these little kisses were making me uncomfortable but I couldn't and didn't want to refuse them.

I guess my attention faded a little because Sho was standing over me with a Cheshire grin before I even realized that he had stood up.

"Let's go," he said, heading to his room to get dressed. I rolled my eyes and put back the chair he'd used.

Things were totally normal. I guess he'd forgotten all about my hitting on his crush to get back at Son. Or maybe he was just in denial. Or maybe, I thought, thinking on his I-know-something-you-don't-know grin that he'd flashed me with just a few seconds ago, maybe Sho was more perceptive than I could credit him for. I flushed at the thought. Too often I still thought of him as a completely oblivious kid and too often now he proves me entirely wrong.

Sho, with his perfect timing, came back while my face was reaching its pinnacle of redness but to his credit, didn't do more than raise an eyebrow at me. It was humiliating how our positions were switched so that I felt like the young, immature one.

Sho's stomach growled, the signal for me to stop dawdling and hurry up, which I did, considering the boy had also missed lunch.

The light was mostly gone by the time we left so that I had no problems. We drove through the thinning post-rush hour traffic without having to weave too much and arrived at Shinji's place only a few minutes late but Sho has always liked to make an entrance.

We headed in to the smell of wonderful home-cooked dinner. That was one of the best benefits of having met Yi-Che and Son, real food. You could only eat pizza for so many months before becoming tired of it. Of course, we had to make our way all the way down to Shinji's place each time but Yi-Che's cooking was worth it.

We had decided to assemble each night at his place. He had a little kitchen, only slightly used and the roof had more than enough space and a decent view on a clear night. Son and Yi-Che's place was much better of course, but Sho didn't want to risk them by gathering there every night.

When we first got there, they all greeted Sho happily but the only one happy to see me was Toshi. I guessed, from his enthusiastic greeting to me and his dismissal of the usual stony glare from Shinji and the new heated glare from Son that he'd collected a nice chunk of cash the previous night.

They all took their places around the ragged little table; Sho, Shinji, Toshi, Son, and Yi-Che. Sho had confided that it had taken a little getting used to, former street rats having a civilized sit-down meal every night but again, the kid had a talent for adapting, especially to comfort.

Yi-Che had wordlessly invited me to eat countless times but I'd always refused. Son had questioned my refusals in the beginning but Sho always politely dismissed their invitations for me, something I was very glad of. I don't know what excuses he used but so long as I didn't have to explain that I was a vampire and only needed blood for sustenance…I was happy. Or something like that.

Toshi still doesn't know. He had run off that day when I first revealed to Sho and Shinji that I was a vampire and none of us seemed to feel the need to tell him after we moved on from that place with the money we stole from the guy. Toshi didn't ask questions, even at that age. Or maybe the prospect of having so much money all at once distracted him.

Anyway, they all dished up bowls of rice and started on the dishes Yi-Che had so carefully prepared. Everyone helped pick up the tab for the groceries, even me, so we could afford some pretty nice food.

As always, I took my seat on the wall around the roof, leaning against a taller part as I stared out over the city. The aromas from their meal drifted back to me and it brought me back to times long ago, much easier and lighter times. I let myself remember, just for the duration of their meal, about times almost too long ago to remember.

"Oi, Kei!" I heard Sho call around a mouthful of food and I opened my eyes just in time to catch the roll of money he threw at me. It was considerably thicker than anything we'd gotten before. I turned back around, weighing in it my hand and throwing a questioning glance at Toshi,

"What size bills are these?" I accused, but he grinned back, "the usual."

My eyebrows arched up a few notches. I was holding a hell of a lot of money, then.

"From both nights." He clarified, "last night and the night before." That was all I listened to before I tuned him out as he tried to sort out the nights they really were. Our missions usually fell during or slightly before or after midnight so they'd trip him up every so often.

It was amusing watching him try to figure it out with only half his attention on his calculations. The other half was more focused on the food, of course. If we got tired of pizza, you can be sure that a pizza boy would.

"Oh, by the way," Toshi turned back around and I focused my wandering attention on him again, "good job on the second warehouse." He winked before his expression took on some confusion, "only one guy died but I think it was someone after us…poor bastard had these little holes in his neck and his blood was all gone but the ground was clear." He stuffed his mouth before talking again, "weirdest damn thing I've ever seen." He shook his head, turning back to the table.

"What?" he asked, mouth still full; it must've been at Sho's face. I'm glad Toshi had his back to me or else he would have seen my own stricken expression.

It felt like a punch in the gut. Everyone had been enjoying themselves until Toshi mentioned my handiwork. It seems like I bring strife wherever I go. Ever since he met me and found out what I was, Shinji had hated me. If it weren't for me, Sho could have a more normal life and have a regular friendship with Son and Yi-Che as his girlfriend. Just by being around, I held Sho back from his potential.

I pushed off from the wall, feeling Shinji's heated glare on my back along with Sho's concern and Son's confusion. I hate being the center of attention. All their stares lent to a feeling of claustrophobia that I wasn't particularly fond of.

"I'm going to get some air." I said, mostly for Sho's sake but they accepted it.

I half-heard Toshi protest--where else could you breathe better than on a rooftop?

* * *

tbc...

* * *

I broke down on my no-japanese rule and used the word "baka." But that's only because baka is kind of a hard word to translate. Idiot sounds too harsh. Baka always has a more of a "lovable idiot" or "idiot of whom I am fond" feel to it, at least to me. 

But then again, I'm a total Gravitation fangirl and Yuki's "baka" is an endearment. Bakabakabakabaka.

* * *

_Tixxana, Lady-Willowish, Lulu, Essenity, fujipuri, TheTrueSilver_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n**: A chapter that does _not _gloss over Kei. And him, being a vampire is definitely not all fun and games. eep.

* * *

**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 8**

* * *

I don't know where I was planning to go but anywhere away from all the staring was fine. Preferably a small dark corner. 

I hated letting myself get into these fucking group moments. I'd always end up beginning to enjoy myself and forgetting everything important until something kicked me harshly back into reality as if to say, wake up, that isn't your life anymore. This is.

Life liked to fuck me over.

So I climbed the stairs back down to the koi tanks, making my way between them. As I was passing one tank near the wall, I saw a glint under the rim and bent down, curious. Ah. As much as Shinji tried to cooperate with Sho's fruitless attempts to get him off drugs, he was never strong enough to kick them completely.

Holding the little bottle in my hand, I half-entertained the idea of whether they were really so useful for escapism.

But I wasn't so stupid.

Hearing someone crashing down the stairs that I assumed to be Sho, I tossed the container into the nearby tank and headed out into the shop where we'd have more room to talk.

It was, of course, Sho and he followed me into the shop, sitting down on the counter next to me.

"Kei…" Sho began, his voice uncertain.

I cut him off, "Save it. He said it himself, didn't he?" I mused back to that hurtful scene, "A monster, a vampire…you know?"

Sho protested, of course. It's so like him, always unbelievably innocent, unbelievably naïve, "You're not a monster!"

I chuckled bitterly, looking down at my hands,

"I am," and then we lapsed into the familiar conversation we've had so often, each delivering our lines perfectly after so many rehearsals, "Aren't you afraid that one day…I'll turn on you?"

I didn't have to look up to know that Sho was rolling his eyes, trying to cover up his insecurity with arrogance, "As if you'd dare!"

I don't know what prompted me to do it. I'd never challenged his boast before, never felt the need to. Our little skit had always ended up lightening the mood but this time, for some reason, was different.

"What if I did?" I asked my hands quietly before stealing a glance at Sho. He seemed baffled by the departure from our usual script,

"What if…you—no, you wouldn't." he protested, his voice proclaiming utter surety and trust in me. I don't know what provoked me to break that trust.

Before he knew what was happening, I had pulled him down to my level, tilting his head to bare his neck and then, before I knew what I was doing, my fangs had punctured that beautifully exposed jugular.

I had only meant to scare him a little, show him how capable I was of becoming a monster. I hadn't meant to actually taste his blood.

Everything that I'd ever feared about drinking Sho's blood was true and came crashing down on me. The taste was wonderful, anticipation hadn't disappointed. It was a million times better than I had ever imagined. Hot and thick and full of life and I could taste that from only two drops.

Only two drops, because something overcame the overwhelming flood of my vampiric instincts and I pulled away. I shoved Sho away from me, almost making him topple off the counter as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I had only drunk two drops, there wasn't anything to wipe away but it still felt like it.

Sho seemed stunned. The punctures on his neck were dripping down to his collar but he didn't seem to care. He stared at me, complete shock in his gaze. I don't know what masochistic tendencies prompted me to screw myself over even more,

"You see?" My tone was oddly triumphant after pushing away the only one I had in the world, "that's how easily I can turn on you."

And then I promptly deflated, my head spinning as it flooded me with the realization of what I had done. My stomach rebelled and I slid off the counter, heading to the door. I needed to leave quickly. I felt like I was going throw up any second and my eyes burned with the effort of blinking away any hint of moisture that tried to gather.

"Kei!" Sho had apparently been startled out of his daze by my sudden departure and latched onto my arm. I bowed my head. I can't say I wasn't expecting a half-hearted attempt to keep me around. But to face the truth, he didn't want to touch me any more than I wanted him to touch me.

"Sho, you're good with change. You'll be better off without me."

"No, Kei!" his voice was surprisingly fierce and determined. I told myself that I didn't dare hope that he still somehow saw something in me but hope is a stubborn, stupid thing.

"Kei, please!" Sho pleaded, "Don't go!"

And then the anger came in a flood. I wrenched my arm away from his grasp. I was angry at him for tempting me when we knew we shouldn't, I was angry at Toshi for bringing it up, I was angry all over again at the bastard that turned me into a vampire, I was angry at the entire fucking world but mostly at my own fucking self,

"I'm a monster!" I yelled, completely losing control, "Don't you see, you idiot? I'm a monster!" Sho looked like he wanted to cut in but I continued my rant. It felt good to scream all my bottled up, secret guilts to the world, "I should be dead, I should've died a long time ago instead of wasting your life." The anger was dissipating, leaving me darkly depressed as I tried to plead with him. He had my arm again.

"Sho…you don't need me anymore. I'm holding you back. I'm…" I motioned around, frustrated at not being able to find the right way to put it into words, "I'm a poison to the world. I ruin lives." I looked up at Sho, remembering again that moment when he found me on my birthday, leaning against that wall and so ready to die, "Let me go, Sho. Let me die."

Sho just stared down at me, some strange emotion in his eyes. It wasn't pity, for which I was thankful. It wasn't anger. It seemed like some deep sadness but instead of the passiveness that usually comes with such sadness, it was fierce, sharp, determined.

His eyes were wide but he seemed completely sure of himself as his grip on my elbow eased and slid to my shoulder and then the back of my neck, tilting my head up as he bent down.

I shoved him back,

"Sho, what the hell are you doing?"

He blinked, then smiled a more serene, calm smile than I'd ever seen on his face, "kissing you."

I heaved a frustrated sigh, raking my hand through my hair, "Sho, didn't you hear anything I just said?"

He nodded, still smiling like that,

"Kei, I lo—"

"Sho, your food's getting cold!" Shinji had hobbled down the stairs during our little fight and now knocked aside the screen separating the koi tanks from the store, finding us,

"What are you guys doing?" his eyes narrowed, seeing how close we were. Then his eyes trailed to the still wet, brownish stain on Sho's collar and further up to the two small punctures, almost hidden under the shadow of Sho's jaw.

His eyes flew back to me in accusation and his jaw worked as if he wanted to say or do something. But luckily Sho intervened,

"Oh, food…!" he walked past his older brother like a little boy again, ashamed at being caught during a private moment. He didn't look back.

That left only Shinji and I in the room alone and it was awkward as hell. We both knew that he had pieced together some of what happened, the most incriminating parts and he was pissed as hell about it. Sho was, after all, his little brother and I was the monster out to get him.

He turned to leave, and I thought things would be left unsaid between us but just before he passed the screen to the tanks, he paused,

"Get the fuck out of my store."

And he left, following Sho.

* * *

tbc...

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Ack...if you don't hate Shinji yet...you will.

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_Tixxana, Essenity, kokoro no kizu, YaoiKitty, fujipuri_

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n:** Ack...leave it to me to not even see the innuendos in my own writing until they were laughingly pointed out to me. Everything in this chapter is purely (er...mostly) innocent. Sou is not responsible for the things that you silly gutter-minds will paint in between her lines. Enjoy.

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 9**

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I followed Shinji's order for lack of the mental capability to think of anything else. I left the store and no one came running after me this time. I did what I did best—I ran. I know I couldn't leave Sho for good despite all my urges to, at least not yet. A voice in my head still had me convinced that he needed me and if there was a chance that he did, I wasn't going to leave. Another voice said that he'd be better off without me. Without knowing which was right, I didn't want to return yet. 

It was an easy excuse to hide my real fear of seeing him again and having to face up to the consequences of what I'd done.

As the days dragged out, thoughts of his reaction, his feelings, consumed more and more of my time. I don't really know how I spent those days. It's all a haze, one day fading into the next without even hunger for blood to distract me from the pain in my chest that told me Sho would completely reject me, after having all this time to think about what I'd done.

Even bloodlust didn't distract me, at least, not for the first few days.

I think it was getting towards a week when it started to get unbearable. The hunger, the realization of the hunger struck me all at once and settled as a deep ache in my bones. At least human hunger is focused in the stomach. Vampiric hunger arises when the very blood flowing in your veins starts to…to what? To decompose? To fade away? There isn't a pretty word for it.

Then there's the instinct that comes with the hunger, the most basest of instincts: self-preservation. An instinct that urges you to kill, to grab anything within your range with a beating heart and veins full of living blood.

It about a week and a half when I finally made myself go back to the apartment. I was so weak that I couldn't trust myself on the streets anymore. I could barely walk, let alone put up a fight if someone decided to kill me for whatever valuables they thought I had. The streets of Mallepa aren't friendly.

Before my third knock, the door was ripped open and there was Sho, looking like an angel with the halo of light shining out the doorway from behind him. Or maybe it just seemed like that to my hazy eyes. I blinked up at him through scraggly bangs, completely vulnerable in that moment. One look from him would be enough. There were so many reasons for me to die, but this last reason for me to live had been enough to keep me alive for this long.

"K-Kei!" Sho asked, getting over his initial shock or maybe finally recognizing me.

I didn't have anything to say. I hadn't had reason to speak at all over the week and a half since I'd last seen him and even if it weren't for the hiatus, I don't think I could have thought of anything to say at that moment.

I didn't quite see the loathing fear I'd expected to see on his face but it wasn't an exuberant welcome. It was awkward. Neither of us knew what to say or do. I still stared up at him, searching masochistically for any trace of hatred or revulsion. I figured if he did hate me, it'd be better to get it out in the open now instead of discovering it later. Not that Sho can hide anything for very long.

The emotions I read on his face were at first a mixture of disbelief and fear. But the fear quickly faded until I recognized it as extreme concern. He'd been worrying about me, that much was certain. And then the worry changed to joy, elation, that I was back.

That was all I needed.

I threw everything to the winds. Every reined emotion from months upon months. Every time I had resisted the urge to pull him close and whisper in his ear everything. And every time these past two weeks that I'd refused him, pushed away his juvenile advances even though I knew subconsciously that they were serious.

I didn't care anymore that I was decades his elder or that I was supposed the be stronger one, the wiser one, the protector.

It was nothing beautiful, nothing romantic like these sort of revelations are, I guess, supposed to be. I stumbled into him, half-tripping over my own feet in the few steps that separated us. He caught me, of course, but not gently or gracefully. Instead, he grabbed me with the strength I knew he had but had never felt firsthand before.

I buried my face into his shirt, crushing my body into his as I clutched at him. If I had had my strength, I'd've left bruises but as it was, I hardly had the strength to hold onto him and keep myself somewhat upright. In comparison, his hold was much stronger, much tighter and I was glad of it. The starvation had made me dizzy for the past few days, I always felt like I was drifting along. To be finally grounded against a warm, welcoming body was safety and I put all my trust into that safety.

Looking back, it's hard to believe that I gave out my entire heart, or at least the blackened remains of it, in one hug. It wasn't even a kiss or sex. It was a silent hug. There weren't even any teary love declarations or impassioned promises of an eternity together but I knew from then that I could never leave Sho. Despite all the odds, a vampire had found love and I knew it'd last forever.

I don't know if it meant as much to him. I didn't dare think about the possibility that it didn't. Nothing was said but I hope to whatever god that he felt it too, the crushing weight in your chest that tells you that you've made a huge, irrevocable decision. The possibility that he didn't was there, hiding in the silence between us but I didn't look at it from more than the corner of my eye. Some things were best left in the dark. Ignorance is bliss.

Instead, I reveled in his warmth after so many cold nights, I reveled in warm light of the apartment after sulking through so many dark alleys. I let him guide me to my futon and I was glad that he didn't try to pick me up and carry me to it even though his overly-careful gentle touches after that first scalding embrace showed that he was itching to do it. I distantly wondered how bad I really looked, if he was even considering trying to carry me anywhere.

It was all a drifty haze as I sat down on the familiar black leather, leaning back against the arm as he got a blanket from his own room to drape over me. I wanted to brush it off; I was filthy from so long on the streets but I couldn't lift my hand to do it.

I realized that I was nodding off and despite trying to blink the sleep out of my eyes, I was exhausted. Sho's soft whispers and reassurances weren't helping any; they relaxed the muscles that I didn't even realize were tensed and kept pulling me back into that warm haze.

In the end, I surrendered and drifted to sleep with the feel of his fingers brushing through my hair as I'd done so often to him.

I can't say that I felt much better when I woke up. Vampires have one answer to exhaustion and hunger: blood, and I sure as hell wasn't feeling up to that particular subject. But I guess staying still for however long it was also helped. The longest naps I'd had on the streets were still short of an hour each.

A long sleep, while not exactly strengthening or refreshing, would at least give my body a little time to recover. Vampiric abilities are intertwined with the vampire's strength. When I'm well-fed, I heal faster but when I'm half-starved it takes considerably longer.

I woke up from a soft brush of something on my nose. It was there then gone again. It was annoyingly ticklish enough that I opened my eyes against the light to investigate.

My entire vision was filled with fuzzy, streaky, brown.

I blinked, trying to clear my the fuzz from my vision before I realized that whatever I was looking at was too close for me to focus on. When I finally realized what it was, I sat up with a jolt.

I half expected Sho to be curled up on my futon next to me before I realized that if he were sleeping with me, I'd be the one curled up. Sho has never been much of a reserved sleeper. He sprawls.

I guess it was either chance or Sho had realized that he dominated beds; whichever it was, Sho wasn't next to me. Instead, he was sitting on the ground, his arms folded on the futon with his head pillowed on them. His head was turned from me but I could tell from his unabashedly deep breathing that he was asleep. His bangs brushing on my nose had woken me up.

I smiled down at him, wincing as my dry lips cracked again. The hint of coppery blood that my tongue flicked from the cut almost pulled a groan out of me. It was too long since I'd last had any. Way back, almost two weeks ago at the warehouse before the art gallery fiasco.

Instead, I dragged my mind away from that subject again, instead to focus on the disgusting tangle that my hair was my hair probably was. I reached up to try to tell how bad a state it was in. My hand promptly dropped back down to my side.

My hair felt like it normally did, soft, sleek, no tangles whatsoever. That was when I realized that the clothes I was wearing weren't the ones I'd had on for more than a week anymore.

I was dressed in Sho's loose-fitting work out pants and one of his big white cotton button down shirts. Unfortunately, anything loose or big on Sho was undoubtedly looser and bigger on me. The pants would barely hang on my hips if I got up and the shirt's hem trailed half-way to my knees.

Before I had time to get really embarrassed about how much smaller I was than Sho, I noticed with a content sigh that the overall itch of dirt and harsh weather piled up for a week and a half on my skin was gone.

Somehow, in the however many hours I'd been asleep, Sho had managed to bathe me, wash my hair, and change my clothes.

The embarrassment bit with a vengeance.

My hand fisted in the blanket still covering my lap as I felt a burning flush spread all over my face and neck. The heat settled in my ears, which I knew were a heated tomato red.

Sho, as always, had perfect timing and chose that moment to sit up, stretching a huge yawn, arms and all and popping his neck back and forth with contented groans. I took that time to slouch over, dropping my forehead on my blanket-covered knee in an attempt to hide some of my embarrassment.

"Kei?" Sho asked after he settled back down. One of his elbows was propped up on my futon, probably to support his cheek that he had leaned into his hand. I almost growled at him as if everything were normal; I hated it when he did that. It always left elbow-sized indentations in the leather.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and I nodded against my knee.

"What's the matter?" his voice was getting concerned now and I couldn't let him worry anymore despite not exactly knowing how to say it. So it came out as a hesitant question,

"You…changed my clothes?"

Sho was silent. I don't know if he blushed in embarrassment or just blinked in confusion but his tone when he spoke again indicated the latter.

"Yeah."

"Everything?"

There was a longer pause this time, and his voice was more hesitant when he spoke again but didn't hold any of the embarrassment that mine was dripping.

"Yeah."

"So you saw." It was a flat statement and I was glad that I was still strong enough to control my emotions. Somewhat. This time his reply took much longer in coming, as if he had to think about what he said next, which didn't make any sense because he replied with yet another one-word answer.

"Yeah."

I was frustrated as hell, wanted to get up, kick something, demand that he say something. The irony of the situation, that for once he was the impassive one and I was the impatient one, was completely lost on me.

I guess some of my frustration showed or he had finally put together what he wanted to say next. It was more likely the former because Sho's next words didn't seem any more careful or thought out than what he says all the time.

"You're beautiful, Kei." The comment wasn't the awkward meandering I'd expected or even the half-sincere reassurances. Instead, it was filled with awe.

What the fuck?

I finally looked up at him, glaring, more like. My body wasn't beautiful. It was grotesque. How can something not living be beautiful? I was no more beautiful than the decomposing animal corpses on the sides of roads especially now, with the starvation stretching my skin taut across my bones everything weathered and chapped after a week and a half of homelessness.

He could tell that I didn't believe him and reassured me. His hands cradled my face gently, feeling cool against my flushed skin. As he leaned in towards me, I saw a passionate light in his eyes calmed by the same gentle smile he'd had in Shinji's shop. The sleep wrinkles imprinted on one side of his face reflected a little of the immature childishness in Sho to balance the deep maturity I saw in his eyes.

He leaned in, pressing a feathery kiss on my lips, each of my cheeks, the tip of my nose, and then pressing his lips firmly against my forehead before he tucked my head under his chin, his arms cradling me warmly. I don't even know when he climbed on the futon with me but I was glad of the support his chest gave pressed against my back. I leaned back and enjoyed it. My barriers never meant anything when it came to Sho.

It was such a soothing action that I settled down, bitter thoughts completely disintegrating in that haze again. This was a side of Sho that I'd never seen before. How was it that he could put me into that calm, protective haze with only a smile and a few touches?

"You ready?" he asked, his voice drifting to me softly. I could feel the moving of his chest against my back as he breathed.

"Hm?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to lean against him. Having such a firm support after so many years of relying on myself and having others rely on me was like a huge burden lifted.

"To go," He whispered in my ear. I was mildly surprised at how comfortable I was already with the intimacy after so long of having none. I guess some old habits don't die hard. "to see Yi-Che and Son and Toshi in the park."

That did it for my haze and I stiffened. I knew Sho felt it but he didn't react, still holding me. But the embrace felt awkward now. Yi-Che. Son. Jealousy of Yi-Che and also jealousy of Son.

"It's okay." Sho reassured me, "we're just going to see her mural. Yi-Che's finishing it tonight. Tomorrow's the reveal."

I stayed silent, not sure what to say of the subject. I wondered if Sho would think me immature if I refused. When had the tables turned so sharply?

Sho pulled away from my head, still tucked under his so he could look down at me.

"Please?" he asked, staring at me with eyes that I knew I'd never be able to refuse again, "it'd mean so much to her." I wondered why he was now acknowledging Yi-Che's feelings towards me when he was always so uncomfortable with mentioning them before. Had he lost all interest in Yi-Che in favor of me or was he had he finally learned to hide his emotions?

I didn't dwell on which was true.

"Please, Kei," he asked again when I stayed silent and I finally sighed which we both knew to mean that I'd given in. Sho grinned, obviously elated and leaned down to meet my lips in a kiss, our first real kiss.

Somehow, sometime, Sho had obviously picked up some experience. My experience at kissing had been passable at best and years of disuse had done nothing for my skill. Sho was clearly better at it and he relished having the upper hand, completely dominating my mouth and kissed me until I didn't know up from down.

I was so distracted that my conscious mind didn't even catch onto the fact until much later; that our first kiss was, in a roundabout way, initiated by Son and Yi-Che. If I hadn't been so distracted, I might have felt the foreboding shiver that went through me as my subconscious realized. It was a haunting breeze that made my silent promises of forever to Sho seem ghostly and ethereal.

* * *

tbc...

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hehe, title!

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_fujipuri, Tixxana, YaoiKitty, Essenity, TheTrueSilver, skyofdestiny, IceMaiden7_

* * *

"What religious denomination do you follow?" 

"Hydeism."

"What is that, some sort of cult?"

"You could say that."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n:** Paintin' at the park scene plus love-triangle angsting. Poor Kei.

* * *

**DREAM OF FOREVER**

** soumanyon **

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Even with a gun held to my head, I would never consider calling Sho insensitive. It's just that, especially with his childish enthusiasm, he sometimes overlooks things. That night that we went to the park to watch as Yi-Che put the finishing touches on her mural, I was exhausted. 

I dozed as Sho drove us over, heated forehead resting against the cool window. My mind was hazy again, but this time it wasn't the pleasant haze that Sho's touches caused. I was so weak that I honestly could hardly hold myself up much less show any interest in Sho's chatter, but he didn't seem to mind.

I don't know if he shot any worried glances at me in the pauses that lapsed as he took a breath between his rambles. My eyes were closed against even the streetlights that now seemed blinding.

When we finally got there, Sho shut off the engine and got out enthusiastically. Moments later, he must have realized that I was still sitting there and came around to my side of the car, opening the door. I staggered out and I would have fallen down from the sudden bout of dizziness if Sho hadn't have caught me. It was embarrassing and I kept my head bowed from the worried gaze that I could feel on me.

" 'm fine," I told him, straightening and pulling at my tank top. I really should have worn a jacket.

Despite my reassurances, Sho's hand was firmly clasping my elbow and his other arm around my waist to support me as we walked to where Toshi, Son and Yi-Che were already gathered. Just a normal rabble of friends. All except me.

When they noticed us, Toshi ran over, grinning happily after seeing me for the first time in a week. He asked me why I didn't come back to their dinners after that night and I twisted my neck to look up at Sho, who was carefully avoiding my questioning gaze. He never told anyone that I ran off that night…

Son's greeting was more toned down, less enthusiastic. His smile was sickeningly fake to me but Sho accepted it and let go of me to give him a happy hug. I sagged a little with the loss of his support but no one noticed.

I looked away, biting my lip and hiding my shaking hands in the pockets of my pants. But I did manage to notice that Son's grip on Sho during the hug was quite a bit closer than most male friends and he held on to him for just a little too long.

Yi-Che wandered over and her brother guiltily let go of Sho. Sho opened his arms again to Yi-Che with a warm smile and she shyly returned his hug. This time, it was Sho doing the eager gripping and I realized with a stab to my heart that he hadn't gotten over Yi-Che at all.

Sho only let go with an embarrassed chuckle after Son cleared his throat loudly.

Everyone laughed at his lapse into his protective older brother tendencies again. Only Son and I knew that he was actually jealous of his sister and the man that, it seemed, still loved her. In that way, I suppose Son and I are on the same level. What a twisted love triangle.

Then the seriousness dissipated as Toshi asked indignantly for his hug and Sho swatted him upside the head. Everyone moved over towards the mural again. While we walked, I started to trail behind and it didn't take long for Sho to notice.

Breaking off his conversation with Toshi, he hurried back to my side and supported me again. This time, to my shame, I leaned much more on him. Even without all my other problems, the excruciating realization that Sho still loved Yi-Che despite the kisses that we'd shared would have still had me staggering.

How do you describe the pain that comes from loving someone so much and then realizing that they don't feel the same way? Even though there was always the nagging thought in the back of my head through everything that had happened hours ago, I hadn't been brave enough to really think on it and really think on the possibility. How do you describe the pain that comes from handing someone your heart and realizing that they'd rather have another's?

It's a terrible feeling of worthlessness.

I knew I was being selfish again. I didn't want to share Sho with Yi-Che. But then that evil nagging voice in the back of my head yelled at me. Why would Sho want someone like me when it was obvious he was attracted to Yi-Che? Aside from the fact that I was male, Yi-Che was, I could grudgingly admit, beautiful. She was gentle, innocent, patient, kind; everything that I wasn't.

It was obvious what kind of girl Sho liked. How could I compete with that?

God damn that fucking voice that reminded me so much of him. The same one from the first night…when all this had begun. God fucking damn him, the one who still wouldn't leave my head after all these years.

It was either my tightening grip or the fact that we were catching up to the group again, but Sho let go of me abruptly. When his hands returned, they were farther away and only barely touching me as he led me over to the empty park bench.

After I sat down, I tried to catch Sho's eyes but he'd already turned away, going to punch Toshi who'd made a crack about us being gay.

What do you know? Even an idiot can stumble on something once in a while.

I think I dozed off again because when I opened my eyes, Toshi and Sho had settled down.

"What are these?" Toshi asked, holding something up to the dim light from Yi-Che's lamp.

"Invitations." Son replied, "Yi-Che's finishing the mural tomorrow."

I snorted softly as Toshi gushed over the formal paper of the invitations. It wasn't as if he was still a poor little street kid. He had more than enough money now to buy all the pretty paper he wanted. But, I suppose, buying it for yourself and receiving it are different things.

"Ah…is…he coming?" Son nodded over at me, his question directed at Sho, who uncomfortably looked over to me for my answer. Being spotlighted sucks.

Why did I agree? Why did I reassure Yi-Che specifically that I would be coming? I suppose it came out of the same part of my mind that prompted me to kiss her to incite Son at the art gallery. Or was it to incite Sho?

Everything was all mixed up. God, I could hardly sit up straight. How would I keep my promise and attend her mural ceremony in broad daylight?

Everything afterwards was a blur. Sho, Son, and Toshi messed around some more as Yi-Che silent as always painted away at her giant painting. I simply sat on my bench under the pretense of watching them silently as I dozed, unable to even keep my eyes open.

Finally, when my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't hide it even when they were tucked into my pockets, I cleared my throat weakly.

Still, Sho must have been paying attention because he heard me and hurried over.

I guess, even at that time of night and with only the light of Yi-Che's lamp, he could judge from my color that I wasn't having a great fucking time.

I think he made my excuses for me, once again, because when he returned to my side, he was leading me back to the car and back home again.

The car drive was a blur, entering the apartment was a blur, everything seemed surreal. Sho looked scared, even more than normal

And it hurt, dear god it was painful.

"D-damn…" I stuttered when we finally got back after a drive that seemed to last forever. It was amazing how fast I could deteriorate. Sho supported me back to the apartment where I retreated to my futon.

"Lights?" he asked, bending over me worriedly after taking off his shoes and checking the multiple locks on the door. I nodded, my eyes still closed against the blinding shaded lights around the apartment, they were too much at the moment. I could hear him going, feel the soothing dark as the lights were clicked off one by one and eventually his clumsy footsteps stumbling through the dark back to me.

"Better?" he asked and I nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see me in the dark. I could see him perfectly.

With a low groan, I leaned back, stretching out on the futon for only a minute while he found it and inched in next to me. Rolling my eyes, I gave him some space. It was a good pretense to hide behind when I was really trying to avoid touching him. Then he'd feel how cold my skin was and how slowly my heart was beating. I hated it when I got like this…it made me feel even more inhuman.

But Sho, it seemed, can't take a hint and only moved closer to me, practically pinning me against the wall. Touching me then was inevitable but to his credit, he didn't say anything about the goose bumps his warm fingertips raised or the shiver that goes through your entire body when you step into a warm building on a cold night.

Then the bastard took advantage of the fact that I was on the inside. I could feel his smirk on my collarbone as he kissed me.

It was a strange feeling. It was like a bizarre reversal of roles, that his lips were the ones on my neck and I was lying under him. An inane thought went through my head then, the random ones you get at the most absurd times. Sho would make one sexy vampire.

But I dismissed that thought immediately. I'd rather die than turn anyone.

I promised myself that a long, long time ago. I would never do something so cruel, so selfish ever again.

* * *

_tbc..._

* * *

Sort of a filler chapter and sort of not. It's necessary because it realigns us with the movie's story, which this fic was meant to follow fairly closely. This chapter and most of the next should seem very, very familiar. So you all know what's coming, I think. And you'll see my twist on it. It's a little AU but, eh, Moon Child has such a tight storyline that it's hard to squeeze plausible scenes among everything else. (Especially if you're throwing a yaoi twist on everything)

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_YaoiKitty, fujipuri, IceMaiden7, Essenity, Tixxana, Tenshi no Hoshii, skyofdestiny, 17dixiefair.dandyfine07, Myca, Pop'n'Roll, The Drinking Game_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n**: Ookay...this is where we go from the Moon Child movie-verse down the slide to Sou's AU Moon Child world. Enjoy the ride?

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**DREAM OF FOREVER**

**soumanyon**

**Chapter 11**

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The next morning dawned brilliant and sunny. It was a beautiful day, birds singing, blue skies and everything. 

It hurt.

"How is it?" I asked, returning to my old habit of chewing on my fingertips to ease the hunger.

For the fifth time that hour, Sho peeked out one of the heavy black curtains then replaced it, shaking his head. It was hopeless, of course. All the weather reports, all the indications pointed to a beautiful day, perfect for Yi-Che's unveiling.

The clock in the kitchen chimed. Twelve. If Cinderella didn't leave soon, he'd be late.

"You should go." I said, not looking up, "Go without me."

I tried to reassure him even as I felt something of his unease trickle down my spine. Had I been superstitious, I would have reconsidered my urging. But I ignored it, instead reassuring myself at the same time, ignoring his melodrama and pouting as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head, pulling him close to me. The hug lasted too long and was too close to be platonic. When we finally broke apart, Sho tried to pull me down for a kiss but I pushed him away, sending him into his familiar juvenile pouting.

I felt the elder again. I was in control and Sho depended on me for that control. I used that responsibility to push aside the nagging unease at the corner of my mind. I set my mind. He was going. At least one of us would have a life.

The poor boy was so indecisive. It was clear that he wanted to go but he didn't want to leave me all by myself while they were out but it wasn't like I couldn't handle it. I knew Sho had gone out plenty of times in the day when he thought I was sleeping.

I got up, inspired and walking over to the futon, reclining back.

"I think I'll take a nap." I said, eyes closed but it seemed that Sho wouldn't be so easily dismissed today. I guess our relationship did have somewhat of an effect on the ones between him, Son, and Yi-Che. I can't say whether I'm happy about that, it's complicated.

"You should go." I told him, voice careless and unaffected, a simple observer. "They're waiting for you." I nodded at the door before sighing and shifting into a more comfortable position for a nap, ignoring him.

Sure enough, five minutes later, he was out the door. With Sho, you need to make ultimatums or he'll dawdle in indecisiveness for the entire day.

Looking back, I'm not sure whether I made the right choice, to prod him into going. Maybe he sensed that thing that I had ignored, some ephemeral fateful stirring of unease. But I don't know. We don't talk about that day.

I wonder what would have happened if he didn't go. Then I wouldn't have followed him when the skies forebodingly clouded over a few hours later. That should've been a warning to me. None of the reports had predicted rain much less the huge storm that drenched the entire city. But I'd never believed in portents.

And so when the skies did cloud over, despite my growing weakness I made my way over to the park under the threat of the skies opening up at any minute and vaporizing me. At least no one was on the streets to notice a thin, pale figure clenching a red raincoat around himself and stumbling down the street. But I'd promised Yi-Che and I wouldn't lose face to Son. Damn that pride.

The gunshots first alerted me to something wrong. I was cutting through a grove when I saw the two thugs and Toshi stumbling between them. I don't know if it was mostly the hunger or mostly my years of protectiveness or my fear of abandonment or a combination of all three. Whatever the reasons, I snapped.

There have always been myths of people developing superhuman strengths in times of extreme stress so why shouldn't an immortal be able to do the same? I found some reserve that let me function enough to clumsily fly over to them. Actually, it felt more like I was throwing myself around.

Everything else was another one of those blurs when my vampiric instinct completely takes over. Instinctive need to protect myself and my mate was all it took before I was ready to kill again. I was eager to kill. Toshi's death was irrelevant to my vampire side. I only managed to rein in the monster enough to make it ignore his body and instead turn to the criminal's.

I hated that side, thinking back ashamedly to how close I was to simply throwing myself down at the easy prey Toshi had become, fatally injured. To my vampire side, it was a pity letting all of that delicious blood seep into the earth. Why not drink it? It didn't matter that I'd known him for more than a decade and that he was a friend. Vampires didn't have friends, much less human ones.

It's frightening how close to the surface that side of my lingers, always ready to take away when my all too human determination weakens.

The thug was easy enough prey, completely unsuspecting as I headed straight towards him and tackled him to the muddy ground. I was gentle enough when my fangs first pierced his pulsing neck, he was still able to kick and scream, at least. And he kicked up a hell of a racket with his terrified screams even if the adrenaline did pump his blood faster and added a particular spice to it.

I think I broke his neck when I tugged his head back. I'm not sure whether that was intentional. I knew I wanted to have easier access to the jugular but maybe his squirming was getting on my nerves too much. Sometimes I can even fool myself into thinking that I was being merciful but those illusions are dissipated each time I feed and realize all over again that vampires care nothing for mercy. We're quite literally cold-blooded.

I lost myself in feeding, trying to lap up as much blood as I could before his heart died along with the blood. The flow was already slowing.

I think I heard something, some tinny little voice in the back of my head somewhere, or maybe it was real. I don't know. It was irrelevant with this dead body under me and another nearby fresh for the taking. I was hungry enough for the both of them.

The tinny little voice pestered me for quite some while before its presence filtered away sometime after I got up and calmly headed over to the other body, licking my lips of the splattered blood as I went. But there was too much to lick up; I think I made quite a mess.

This time I was left to feed in peace but I only drank about half of the second one's blood; it was already getting that bitter, dead taste to it. I could easily find better.

I think it was then that I woke up out of my zombie, vampire nightmare. It was night again and I was soaked. I should've been chilled to the bone but I felt like I was glowing warmly. I woke to myself in the shelter of some bushes. It seemed that I at least had the presence of mind to hide but nothing could hide the fact that I was covered in blood.

All down my front, dripped down from my chin. There was dried blood on my neck and face and it wasn't mine. It didn't take a genius to figure out what I'd done.

For the next few hours, I sat there under those bushes, hugging my legs to my chest and shivering, not with cold but with bitter self-hatred. It had seemed so distant and passed like a blur when I was doing it but the memories came back crystal clear and I wished they didn't. I could remember every little detail of what I'd done.

It was too much to take too soon. Only a day after returning, I ran off again, but this time I had no intention of returning.

I drifted along the streets hearing occasional snippets of the news of the strange double homicide at the park and shivered each time that I did. It was another blur. I don't know how I found clothes or washed myself clean of most of the blood. Not all of it is gone yet, I don't think it ever will be. I was dirtier than the scum that had killed Toshi.

I didn't allow myself any time to mourn my friend, the kid that I had known since childhood. I was already numb, I couldn't get much more numb.

I completely let loose. I don't know how long it was that I drifted around. It could have been a few days or a few weeks. I had nothing by which to tell the time and I only slept when I was too tired to stay awake. My life was a nightmare that didn't release me, even in sleep.

After that first period of total numbness, I was filled with some sort of dark determination. What day was it? A Tuesday? Some random day that I'd picked out to suddenly develop a will.

I went to the bank. While Sho still insisted on keeping all of his money in tins, I had grown out of that a long time ago. Interest can be pleasant from the right side. Of course, by the time it was dark enough for me to head out, all the banks were closed. Thank god for automated banking.

Under my usual fake IDs, I withdrew everything from my account, having the presence of mind to deposit most of it in Sho's rarely used account and keeping the rest, still a substantial amount, to blow on what I had deemed my last day on earth. I didn't have much but it'd be enough to go out with a bang like I intended on doing.

I'd join Luka at dawn.

It was a little after sunset when I finished with the strangely domestic task, almost surreal in its normalcy after weeks of nothing. With my nice, thick roll of bills, I bought myself a decent outfit that I wouldn't mind dying in, something that would make a nice first impression when I saw Luka again.

He'd like it. An almost translucent, flowy white shirt like the ones I always wear only much better quality. There were also sexy leather pants that although he might not approve of, I couldn't resist. It seems Sho has had some influence on me after all.

My mind quickly changed from that topic. I decided to get wonderfully drunk. I'm not sure that I wasn't already. I wonder if I went temporarily insane or if I was finally returning to my true self after so long. I wonder if my true self is insane.

Anyway, I headed out for drinks after a short stay at a seedy motel where I got cleaned up and dressed up in my new clothes. The ones I'd had on earlier had been salvaged after I threw my bloody things away. Even stuff thrown away in the trash was preferable to walking around Mallepa covered in blood.

It was nice to be clean again after taking a shower, shaving and combing my hair. Clean clothes were nice, too. Damn but I really wanted to look nice for Luka.

I think I was insane.

By the time I finished all of that, it was night and I found myself wanting to enjoy a thoroughly self-destructive last few hours on Earth. So, like any idiot drunk on life, I decided to get even more smashed, this time with alcohol.

I stumbled into a dark bar on the edge of town. It would've been quiet had the music not been earth-shakingly loud. Lucky me, my clothes let me fit right in. No one took much notice of the short blond weaving through the crowds to the bar.

After taking a seat towards the corner of the bar, I promptly motioned the bartender over, ordering myself a nice spicy sake. It was somewhat of a cool night and the drink would warm me up.

So I sat in my dark little corner, sipping at my cup. After the first few drinks, the kid behind the counter had realized that my sole interest was to drink myself to oblivion and wisely left me alone after setting an entire bottle of my sake at my elbow.

I thought I was doing a pretty decent job of appearing unapproachable until a dark-haired woman sat down next to me, borrowing my bottle of sake to refill her cup. I wanted to reproach her for taking my alcohol; there wouldn't be enough let to get me sufficiently drunk. But the only sound that came out of my lips was a strangled, "Gahh…"

She looked up at me, large brown eyes twinkling mischievously. With a wink, she refilled my cup too as if she was doing me a favor. I did my best to ignore her.

After she finished off her second cup and was reaching to refill a third, I promptly drained off my sake, finally ready to talk some sense into this bitch that was stealing my alcohol when she turned to me, lips curving up in a delicious smirk.

"Care to dance?" she asked, voice low enough that I could barely hear her. I blinked dumbly at the change of pace and it was enough of a pause that she had dragged me off my stool and onto the dance floor before I really knew what was going on. Maybe I was a little drunk by then.

She pulled me close to her and I was too distracted to push away. Her hair tickled my nose and I sneezed, stumbling with the force of it. Somehow I heard her tinkling laugh over the music and other noise in the club,

"You're so cute, Haido." She grinned and I was sober enough to stop in my tracks. I knew I wasn't a rambler on the few instances that I had gotten drunk. And I wasn't smashed enough to have any memory loss and I knew I didn't say anything to her…didn't tell her my name, didn't even mumble a greeting.

"How…" I stuttered, "H-how do y-you…?"

I gaped at the stutter in my voice. Since when was that there? And why were my hands shaking uncontrollably? And the cold feeling draining through my body.

I tried to concentrate on her face to see who she really was but the darkness of her hair distracted me. Or was it just shadowed? It seemed to be getting darker and darker…

And then completely,

black.

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_tbc..._

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Ahem. Well then. 

Hehe, wouldn't it be sweet if I turned this into a Mary Sue? I'm kidding, of course.

Anyway, trust me. Go with it. It'll all work out, I promise.

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_Essenity, fujipuri, Okiitako, Tixxana, Emiri-chan, IceMaiden7, .ReinMagick-Yami no Kage, Sidhelady_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. 

**A/n:** Prepare for mass AU-ness for the next couple chapters, but I've had this background story for Kei written for too long not to use it. In case you're wondering, these next couple of parts fit in the gap in the movie between Toshi's death and Sho's ascension to mafia lord. What? You don't think Kei was rotting in prison that entire time. Rewatch the movie to see my inspiration, especially where Yi-Che and Sho are watching the TV news report about the "modern day vampire."

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**DREAM OF FOREVER **

**soumanyon **

**Chapter 12**

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The worst words you can ever wake up to when you have a hangover-sized headache are "wakey, wakey." But I was greeted with those by the head that popped up in front of my blurry eyes and blocked my view of the ceiling. 

"Wakey, wakey!" he called in a singsong voice, grinning down at me, his hair falling down, almost long enough to brush the sides of my face, "Had a nice nap?"

I looked away, knowing better than to turn my head. He'd only turn it back for me, painfully.

But it seemed like the fates weren't with me, because I wasn't meant to escape pain.

He hopped up onto my table, taking a seat next to me after swatting away the hanging strap of the restraint on my wrist. Not like those were needed. I wasn't sure if I could even stand up, much less walk away anymore.

He didn't seem to like my ignoring him and so, still smiling, his knees were brought up to his chest as he sat with a childish air. His platform-shod feet landed conveniently on my fingers.

I ignored it. And he wasn't happy.

Still smiling innocently, his shoes carefully rolled over my fingers, pressing down. I could feel the ridges in the soles digging into my skin. I didn't care.

I only looked back when a crack from my hand jolted me from the haven in my mind that I was trying to hide in. The pain hadn't even fully hit when the first crack was followed by another. I inhaled sharply and choked on the sudden breath, gasping and coughing as tears leaked from my squinted eyes. He saw them and seemed to be content. I'd like to think they were really from my coughing but I didn't feel the need to correct his assumption.

It wasn't until he lifted his shoes that I finally cried out. I would find out that my fingers weren't so much broken as crushed. Right then, I couldn't care. My entire hand felt like it was on fire from the pain and through it, I heard him chuckle happily. I hoped it'd be enough. Of course it wasn't.

"Haido…you're so weak," he tsked, wiping away the cold sweat that had beaded on my forehead. His hand brushed down my cheek until his fingers caressed my lips. They were bleeding. In my struggle to hold back any pathetic sounds, I must have grazed them. It hurt to speak.

"O-oh?" I asked, although the trembling hoarseness of my voice took some of the effect away from the sarcasm, "wonder why?"

He laughed, delighted, it seemed, that my spirit hadn't been crushed by his amusements. I used to wonder why he enjoyed torturing me so much. Tetsu had become a truly sadistic, soulless monster. It was his version of fun and the game would be ended if I gave up.

And then I used to wonder why I didn't. I was giving him what he wanted, by fighting back even after so long. But I guess it was my damn pride that kept me from doing anything else. Even though this man, or the man that Tetsu used to be, had seen the darkest parts of my life with me.

"I can't help it, Haido," He shrugged, not a bit repentant, "and you can't help it either. You just taste so good…"

His tongue peeked out between those smiling lips to lick them enticingly. I turned away. I used to love that mouth.

The feeling of fire brushing my hand made me turn back to him which was what he wanted, it seemed. And it was only his fingers brushing mine, in the lightest of touches.

"Look at me, Haido." Tetsu smirked, picking up the purpling, limp hand. I tried to ignore the feeling in it that was screaming at me like how I wanted to scream.

I wanted to turn away or close my eyes as he singled out my index finger.

"You were being bad, you know that, right?" he shook his head disapprovingly, flexing my finger gently backwards, "Why do you want to leave me?" He pouted and I remembered how those sad, disappointed eyes used to make me melt.

"Did you go back to him again?" Tetsu demanded sharply, studying my eyes as my finger went farther back. I resorted to biting my lip again and felt a small dribble of blood slide off the side of my mouth.

"Oh wait…" he giggled, "he's dead. So…"

Finally, there was another crack and I gasped, holding my breath as I waited for the pain to ease away again. My breaths, when I finally had to breathe again, were short and sporadic. Tetsu ignored me.

"You were going back to that the human, weren't you?" he spat, releasing my index finger. My hand flopped back onto the table next to me. I didn't try to move it. I avoided looking at it.

"The one that looks so much like that other man." Tetsu cocked his head adorably as he touched a finger to his lips thoughtfully. "What was his name again?"

But the memory eluded him and he shrugged, dismissing it.

"Haido, why won't you talk to me?" my ex-lover pouted, gleaming white fangs brushing over his pursed lips that sent shivers down my spine. "I love your voice, you know. It's special. Like you."

I had the spirit to roll my eyes at the painfully pathetic line. Tetsu used to be so cute when he acted like a dork. But he doesn't appreciate my teasing anymore and backhanded me sharply.

"Talk to me!" he commanded, "Or yell. Or scream. Whichever you prefer."

My silence must have killed his sense of play so he changed tactics. Narrowed chocolate eyes flicked to some dark corner of the room behind me and two thugs approached. The one with messily bleached hair cracked his knuckles while the other, holding a rattling box, smirked at me in a way that I didn't particularly like.

Tetsu fished around in Smirky's box and pulled out a small glass jar. This he shattered on the side of the table that was my bed and saved a large glass shard. Oh, time for this again.

When I was first kidnapped, I hadn't believed it. But it turned out that it had been Tetsu crossdressing. I should have known; as pretty a woman as he makes, there was something off about my buxom brunette drinking buddy. It's too bad I was too drunk to take heed.

At first I didn't believe that Tetsu would stoop to working for the Taiwanese mafia. A vampire working for humans; especially a vampire as power-hungry as Tetsu? But then I learned that he hadn't been working with them. He had only joined their ranks a few days before our encounter.

And that could only mean one thing. Someone from the gang must have found out about me and sold me to him. Who knows how they found out that Tetsu was looking for me? Who knows how they knew I was a vampire in the first place? I thought I was pretty careful with that secret.

So they used me to get Tetsu, and Tetsu to get me, and as long as Tetsu was allowed to keep playing with me, he was content. And if in the course of his play, the gang profited a few jars of vampiric blood a day, that was fine with them.

At first I didn't believe that a human would ever willingly become a vampire. Oh how wrong I was. Vampire blood, it seems, is extremely hard to come by. Few vampires would willingly let their own blood be drawn. And this particular gang had the idea that the bonus of vampiric strength and abilities was worth the curse of eternity.

And so I had been captured to be this gang's supply of vampiric blood, to turn their faithful into demonically powerful monsters. In my ironic phases, I remind myself of a dairy cow.

But unlike a cow, I'm bled each day, or however often I can survive it…and as my twisted, sadistic milkmaid, Tetsu enjoys every second.

Blondy and Smirky were ready with jars to catch my blood, so my fellow vampire, with glass shard in hand pondered thoughtfully over where to bleed. After however many days or weeks or months of this, I had weakened so much that I was beginning to scar. My arms, my back, my chest were covered with crisscrosses of scars—some old and smooth and others red and painful.

Tetsu's fingers ran over my once-flawless skin, trying to find one of those isolated spots. Finally he settled on a spot near my collarbone. He usually avoided my neck but, it seems, he was running out of room.

He seemed to notice this too and playful brown eyes flicked up to meet mine.

"You're so tiny, Haido!" he snickered at the crack on my height and I sighed to amuse him, desperate to put off the bleeding, even though I didn't want to show it. Depending on how creative Tetsu was feeling, it could be extremely painful.

He toyed with the glass shard but a twinkle in his eye hinted of a nastier idea. The tinkle of shattering glass confirmed my suspicions and as I closed my eyes, I felt his warm breath tickling my neck.

On of his hands slipped under my head and a wave of dizziness hit me as he raised it. I couldn't believe that the concussion he'd given me a few days back still hadn't healed. It should've.

His fangs sank into the meaty junction of neck and collar and as he didn't bother being neat, I felt my flesh tear as he bit and pulled to widen the wound. Blood flowed from it in rivulets, pooling in the hollow of my collarbone. As it spilled over, I felt the rims of glass jars scraping my bony chest as the thugs caught every precious drop.

Tetsu lingered too long over the wound, drinking slowly enough that the humans didn't realize he was stealing some for himself. Vampires almost never drink the blood of other vampires, even though it's a thousand times more potent than that of humans—incomparable, like water and wine.

Even though it's such a delicacy, it's illegal. Vampires have few rules, but of all the ones Tetsu taught me as a young fledging, that was the one he stressed the most. It was forbidden. And here was my teacher breaking his own first rule.

After too long, he pulled away, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. The pleasantness was gone. Instead, his eyes had darkened with bloodlust and I could see how much it took for him to stop.

Jars were filled and replaced with empty ones by Blondy and Smirky. Two sets of vampiric eyes followed each brimming jar of dark, dark red blood.

After a while, my head was starting to feel light from loss of blood and my breathing quickened. Tetsu noticed and after a few more jars, ordered the humans to stop. They capped their last jars and slapped a bandage on my wound which was still trickling, before leaving with a full box.

Before he left, Tetsu pressed a soft kiss on my pale forehead. "I'm sorry it has to be like this, love." He whispered, before leaving. The door closed behind him with a loud bang that echoed in my head.

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_tbc..._

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I love Tetsu, I really do. He's so wonderful and such a great band leader and wonderful musician. But...(because you know there's a 'but') but it just seemed to write itself in. We'll see what happens. Besides, this isn't real Tetsu. It's Sou's AU-Tetsu, ne?

Sorry for the lack of Sho in this chapter! (Because in the movie they get separated...for a long, long time! -sob-)

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_Tixxi, Eizoku, fujipuri, Essenity, Emiri-chan, Seiaa, Sky of Destiny, Yvonne, Tanginello, Ahnoutei, Minumiro, Aoi.Shu_

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A reviewer brought this up in one of my other stories. Apparently reviewer replies are against the rules and my story/account can get removed for them. Sucks, doesn't it? 

So here's my new system: I'm still replying to all of them, and I'll leave the replies up for a week or so until everyone has seen them/saved them/whatever. Then I'll replace it with a list of the reviewers that I replied to, because if you take the time to leave a message, I should at least leave an acknowledgement of your contribution, even if I can't leave a couple thousand words of replies, right?

So we'll try this, see how it works out. If it doesn't, I'll switch to email replies. Regardless, always know that I love every single review and every single thing that you guys share with me! Thank you and please know how much I really, truly appreciate your reading and taking the time to comment!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**A/n**: Look--it lives!

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**DREAM OF FOREVER**

**soumanyon**

**Chapter 13**

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"Haido, you're such a little angel…" Tetsu purred happily, closing the door behind himself softly. I didn't move, didn't do anything to acknowledge his presence, but he smiled warmly at me nonetheless. I hadn't moved from where he'd left me several hours ago, which he seemed to like. He grinned at his own joke—after all; he'd been the one to suggest the wings on my back, and I had gotten them willingly, for him.

"I brought you food." He offered, inclining his head towards the closed door. "It's a little cold, but you must be hungry."

He frowned when I blinked blankly, "Haido, you can't keep doing this." He reasoned, the tiniest bit of impatience slipping into his voice.

The hell I can't. I did last time, until I passed out and they had had to sedate me to keep an IV in me, otherwise I kept pulling it out. Vampires can go a while without feeding, but we weaken like any animal. Unlike animals, though, we don't die. At least, I had never heard of it. Whenever I was weak enough to pass out, Tetsu would have them funnel blood into me intravenously. He kept delaying what appeared now to be inevitable.

I don't know how long it had been since I had first fallen for Tetsu's trick in the bar and gotten taken by his gang to be bled for the idiots who wanted to vampires. But because of the lack of any noticeable change in their status, at least from where I stood, it was obvious that their greed had come back to bite them in the ass. You'd think it'd be obvious to them that vampires aren't all powerful if they could catch one and keep it as a pet.

They had stopped bleeding me some time ago. I'd be more sure of time if I even knew how long I had been captured for, but with passing out and the lack of any sort of windows in Tetsu's rooms, I had no way to judge time.

"Haido. Haido? Are you listening to me?" he called impatiently. My gaze refocused on him expressionlessly.

"It's been almost two weeks again, Haido. You can't keep doing this." He sighed at my stubbornness. "What do you want, Haido? I want you to be happy, you know that." Happiness of the kind that he approved, of course.

What did I want? To live? I didn't really care anymore. It didn't look as if I'd be ever getting out of the situation I'd gotten myself into. And to be perfectly honest with myself, there wasn't anything left for me in my old life?

Shinji hated me. Son _hated _me. Yi-Che was terrified of me. Toshi was dead.

And Sho. Sho hated me. He'd probably be terrified of me, too.

The fragile, beautiful thing that we had had for the shortest time was irretrievably lost, and having loved, I didn't think I'd be able to survive returning and seeing for myself the depth of Sho's hate. It was better not to know. It was better not ever to know.

Death seemed like the best option. But even that was denied me. Tetsu couldn't understand why I wanted to die, and damned if I'd tell him everything that had happened since I had chosen Luka over him, all those years ago.

Luka, who had been my best friend.

Tetsu and I had grown up together. We had been typical best friends; we cheated in school together, started a garage rock band, and checked out girls. We were perfectly comfortable with each other, so I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise when we realized that neither of us really enjoyed the checking-out-girls part of our time together.

What followed was a strange, awkward relationship. We were best friends, then we were lovers, but the comfortable companionship from one didn't carry over to the other. Everything was always so dramatic between us. Nothing was ever peaceful, even though Tetsu had always been regarded as a level-headed, soft-spoken good boy.

Everything was always attributed to me, the outcast, moody boy who sketched his time away, dreaming of becoming an artist. I was the one they frowned upon, and Tetsu's parents were sure I had something to do with his disappearance. No one believed that I was just as stunned as everyone else when Tetsu just didn't go home one night.

Later, I had found out the vague story: that Tetsu had bumped into a vampire, who had turned him into a vampire. I never found out the details of just what happened, or of the years when he just disappeared. Everyone thought he had died. Or run away. Eventually, we moved past it, but it left me more of a recluse, and completely lost and broken-hearted.

My last year of school, there was a transfer student. He was quiet, level-headed, and soft-spoken, just as Tetsu had been, and even more shy. Eventually, as the two loners, we ended up becoming friends.

Luka reminded me so much of Tetsu, but he was even more closed off, which worked out, because after Tetsu disappeared, I had never really opened up to anyone else.

Luka and I were never anything more than friends. The tension was there, but I held back, still dwelling on Tetsu.

Then, that summer, my concerns were answered in a backwards kind of way. Tetsu returned.

It was the strangest thing, to walk into my room and have my best friend who had been missing for years, perched on my bed, sorting through my CD collection as if nothing had happened.

And that's what he tried to do. He tried to pretend, as hard as he could, that everything was as it had been before he had disappeared. But it wasn't. He was a vampire.

But even more than that, it was the change in his personality that threw me the most off balance. My shy, sweet Tetsu was gone, and in his place was someone who looked and sounded like him, but how he acted, everything about it, wasn't quite right. He was suddenly loud, and outgoing, and making plans for us to do the same things we'd done as kids.

He didn't take into account that my life hadn't been suspended by his disappearance. I hadn't gotten over it, but I was starting to move on. I had a new friend—Luka.

For the longest time, my own wrenching guilt that I had somewhat accepted his disappearance as permanent made me play along. I went along with whatever he said.

In those few months, I was thankful a thousand times over for my long hair. It covered up most of the puncture wounds on my neck. At first, it had only been a few accidental tastes that had built up his obsession with my blood, and I couldn't deny him after that. After all, I had plenty of it, and he was a vampire. It was his nature, and it beat the alternative of the risks of making him hunt other people.

Not everyone took his changes as well as me. My parents finally saw through our "friendship," and declared him a bad influence. They forbid me to see him anymore. Two days later, they were dead.

It was only then that I had realized just how much Tetsu had changed. I kept making excuses for his behavior, but walking into my kitchen and finding the slumped bodies of my parents at the breakfast table, murdered just after I left for school, was a relentless, horrible nightmare.

After that, I disappeared, too. He wanted me to go with him, so I did—left everything behind, including Luka, and took a new name. We left before my parents' funeral. But before we left, he did one more thing that convinced me that my Tetsu was completely gone from this shell of him: he damned me.

He asked me if I wanted to be like him, to be with him forever. I agreed without thinking. Tetsu was the only thing in my world. I hadn't seen Luka except for at school in the months of Tetsu's return. Tetsu was all I had left, and I clung to him. At least he accepted me knowing everything about me, and I would've done anything to keep him.

Looking back, loneliness seems like a pretty pathetic reason to damn your soul to hell for eternity. But at the time, it seemed like a good idea; the only choice.

So I spent my life with Tetsu. We moved around all the time, visiting the vampire friends he'd acquired in his missing years, introducing me to vampire culture. The more I saw of it, the more I hated it—they were cruel, they were evil. Or maybe those were just Tetsu's selected company.

After years of living as the toy Tetsu dragged along behind him, I grew tired of it. What love there had once been between us was long gone. He took a different lover every night, and I had lost interest in life. I tried to leave him so many times, but could never make myself do it until finally, we returned home.

I didn't even pack a bag, just looked up Luka, who amazingly still lived there, and stumbled my way to his apartment.

It was about three in the morning when I pushed his doorbell, ringing it impatiently, checking behind me every few seconds, in case Tetsu had already realized what I had done. I didn't think he would, though—he had seemed very concentrated on seducing his flavor of the night. I never understood why he liked to play with his prey beforehand.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally heard shuffling behind the door before it creaked open a few inches, stopped by the chain. Luka, hair tousled from sleep and blinking owlishly, inquired politely who I was, but he was only about half-way through the question before his eyes suddenly lost all their sleepiness and snapped open wide.

He had choked out my name, not believing that this was real after all this time. I was having plenty of trouble coming to terms with it myself. I had spent more than a decade with Tetsu already? It must have been. Luka looked much the worse for wear, at whatever age he had reached since I had been gone.

I had intended to crash with him, but it wasn't as if either of us could've really gone to sleep, so the entire story spilled out over coffee. He refused to give me anything alcoholic. Even though he knew logically that I was just as old as he was, one of the things with being a vampire is that I still looked exactly like I did when he had last seen me, back when we were in school.

It was amazing, but he accepted me back without question. With Luka, I rediscovered true friendship and realized how my life with Tetsu was nothing more than existence.

But then everything went downhill again when Tetsu hunted me down and almost killed Luka. I hadn't escaped unscathed either. When I tried to defend Luka, Tetsu had driven his knife to the hilt into my back, right in the middle of a wing. Years later, that was exactly where he had shot me when he had tracked me down again, this time with Sho. I hadn't believed it was him then; I had always been fond of denial.

It was a terrible fight, but in the end, I finally broke things off with Tetsu, but nothing was clean and tidy. Luka, my only friend, was dying, and faced with the danger of being alone again, I repeated my ultimate mistake, except this time, the horror was inflicted on my best friend.

I turned Luka into a vampire.

But he couldn't deal with it. He lasted barely a few months before he couldn't stand the self-loathing anymore. This time, rift that my selfishness had created between us was irreparable.

_"Luka, what will I do without you?"_

_"Find another 'friend.'"_

Those words echoed in my mind ironically. Luka was never bitter about it, but it was clear that he expected that I would, in my selfishness, turn any friend that I made into a vampire, for fear of losing them to mortality. Luka wasn't bitter, but his disappointment and resigned acceptance of my failings boiled the guilt in me, and I vowed to him that I would never make that mistake again. He just chuckled, turning away from me towards the tide line, leaving me in the overshadowing, sheltering rocks, alone again.

The memory of his back as he slowly walked away from me abruptly cut away to the present as I was shaken roughly by a bruising grip on my shoulders.

"Stop it!" Tetsu hissed, "you're thinking about him again, aren't you? Even after he left you?" he cocked his head with a mocking, knowing smirk, "Even after he chose death rather than life with you? Poor Haido, there's hell to pay for our choices, you see?"

I looked away, trying desperately to block out his words, but it was useless. He was right. It is hell to pay for our choices.

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_tbc..._

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**More A/n:** Well now, that there's my whole invented backstory for Kei. If you tilt your head sideways and squint a little, it could almost make sense. I changed my original plans a bit... I was going to make it more as if Hyde were realperson-Hyde, and Tetsu was realpersonbutslightlybastardized-Tetsu, but for caution's sake (cuz I don't want to get booted) their pre-Moon Child lives now bear very little resemblance to real-Hyde and real-Tetsu. So now the whole name-change thing is kinda pointless... Damn rules.

Aaaaaand, wow...there were a lot of reviewers! Hopefully you haven't all given up on me yet!!

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_YaoiKitty, Sparky the Yaoi Fairy, Emiri-chan, MinuMiro, Esuka, Aoi.Shu (to whom I still owe a fic), Essenity, Phaenilix, Rikke Leonhart, Empathic Life, Rid, The Kaizeress, amakasu toko, Kitsuri-chan, rubics, Cyndi Black, goldfishlover73, maiastar, lovergirl, Kadaj Souba, emikoxchan, Wilya, Riku Hikari Neo, nejitenlee13, gray.blob, Yami Maleci, Daggergal_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**A/n:** And even more surprising, it's still alive!

Okay, just so we're clear, this whole section with Tetsu takes place in the "few years" between Toshi's picnic at the park and Sho's evening news watching the report about the "modern day vampire." This is supposed to be the filling of Kei's "missing years" so to speak--between when he runs off from the park and when he gets caught by police.

What? You didn't think Kei would do something so boring as to rot in a jail for the whole...9 years, more or less, I think. -needs to rewatch Moon Child-

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**DREAM OF FOREVER**

**soumanyon**

**Chapter 14**

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It had been so long since I had heard anything other than shuffling footsteps or Tetsu's poisonous murmurings, that when the sound of gunfire first echoed through the room, I didn't recognize it at first. But it was followed by frantic yelling, more gunfire, and then finally thundering footsteps in the hall outside and I realized that something was happening. It shook me out of the dazed existence I had been leading for weeks, months, years.

I crawled over to the door and collapsed by the sliver of light coming in from under it, trying to see what was happening. It sounded like a fight and for the first time in however long Tetsu had kept me here, I felt my spirit lifting. It was heavy, it was clumsy, but there it was.

Heavily, clumsily, I dragged myself over by where the doorknob had been, before Tetsu took it out. I thought I had given up on trying to escape, but the pathetic idea of ambushing whoever might pass through my door seemed like as good a waste of time as sitting in my corner.

Maybe I could escape. Maybe. Although where I'd go after that, I had no idea. Did I know anyone other than Tetsu? Did I even know where I was? It had been so long since I had seen anyone other than him, but I had a feeling I had to have known other people before.

So I pathetically waited and waited. And no one came. Finally, eventually, the sounds of fighting stopped and I held my breath waiting.

I don't know how long I stood by the door in the dark silence before my knees finally gave out and I slid to the floor. Hell lot of good that accomplished. I wonder who won. Tetsu's gang? Or whoever they were fighting. Themselves? The police? Another gang?

Turns out it was another gang.

The kid who cautiously opened my door a few hours later was just too curious for his own good. Even though my eyes were blinded by the hallway lights after being in the dark for so long, and even though the kid was a healthy twenty-something and armed, I still managed to tackle him down. He fell with my entire weight on him, or at least whatever it had been reduced to. His head hit the concrete floor with a sick crack. He didn't put up much of a fight after that.

I lost control as the smell of his blood filled the little room. I think I tore his throat open in my fervor, which was, in hindsight, a stupid thing to do since most of the blood was wasted in pools on the ground and I wasn't about to lap at it like an animal. I could still cling to that shred of dignity.

It had been so long since I had last fed that at first, I was dizzy with it, still unbelieving that my captivity might possibly be over. My head reeled with the realization and the blood rushing through my system. What would happen to me?

I had a chilling moment where I wanted to cry out for Tetsu. Even his company was better than being alone, and I was suddenly very alone.

I looked around, taking comfort in my surroundings, at least. My bare little room of the past few…years. It was really more of a closet attached to Tetsu's room, but it was familiar and the small size was sometimes comforting, almost cozy, despite the lack of anything that resembled furniture or decoration.

Nervously, I glanced around, and finally settled on using my foot to nudge the dead man sprawled by the door out of my room, and then I pulled the door shut again, like it always was. I easily made my way through the dark to my usual corner, opposite the door, and huddled in it as I tried to make my hands stop trembling. The familiarity of my room went a long way to settling my nerves, but there was nothing I could do about the blood that I had already drunk and it buzzed through me with a foreign tingling.

I must have eventually fallen asleep, because when I woke up a few hours later, I had the most poignant sensation of being completely lost, having no idea whether I'd just woken up or fallen asleep. During my nap, my head began to clear away the half-starved fog it had been in for the years I'd been with Tetsu.

It took a few more hours to come to terms with the fact that I was awake, and that my nightmarish life was reality. Piece by piece, my memories returned, unlocked one at a time, slowly and carefully, as if my mind knew I wouldn't be able to stand a flood of them. But it saved a whopping punch to the gut for last.

I had forgotten Sho.

I had forgotten my best friend, and for a little while, my lover.

Those memories were the hardest to deal with, bar none. I was suddenly frantic again, wondering just how long I had been in Tetsu's captivity. It must have been longer than months. More likely years. How many years? How much of Sho's life had I missed already? Time feels different to vampires. Could it have been so long that his life had already…

I think it was only that frantic need to see Sho again that pushed me to leave that room, the closet thing I had had to a home for the past however many years. I stepped over the cold, stiff body that I had shoved out of my room and walked through the silent, unfamiliar halls on unsteady feet. More than once, I had to stop and rest. I wasn't used to so much walking. The entire time, my thoughts were focused on Sho, to keep me from running back to my room and my corner.

I wandered around for what felt like forever. I was completely lost and had to retrace my steps out of dead ends countless times, but by the time I found an exterior door, I had had time to mentally prepare myself to face the world again, and not look back.

It was night when I finally pushed open the loud, rusted metal door. The night was chilly and I shivered as my breath fogged. The gravel under my feet crunched painfully, so I made my way over to the dewy grass to take another break, and look around.

Behind me, there was a sharp squeal followed by a loud clang as the metal door slammed shut again. The sound echoed in the quiet night and made the dirty bulb over the door flicker.

God, I chuckled wryly, I could really use a cigarette.

With each passing moment, I felt more and more like myself, or how I used to be, I think. It was only when I reached up to scrub at my face tiredly that I was thrown back to the reality of the present; my hands were still stained with blood from the kid I had killed. I wasn't as if they were covered or dripping anymore. There were only a few small, crusty specks, but even the smallest drop is pretty damn obvious to a vampire.

Reality crashed hard and threw me back into a dark daze.

I hadn't even left my own captivity yet when I had killed again. What more needs to be said about a vampire's nature?

Tetsu had been right all along. There's no changing what you are. Even after having a cruel mirror of my nature shoved in my face for so many torturous years hadn't changed that basic part of me. I was still a vampire. I was as much of a monster as Tetsu.

I didn't deserve Sho.

I realized that clearly, and had a completely parallel, déjà vu moment, as I remembered when I had first realized that, years ago, when I had first been captured by Tetsu. That was what he had used to break me.

I never deserved Sho, and after everything that had happened, after abandoning him for however many years, how could I even think of showing my face around him again? No. I had hated myself then, and that was before I fully realized the depth of a vampire's evil. I had done enough bad by Sho. He was probably better off without me. He had always been better off without me.

I remember the first few weeks of my captivity, I had wished, prayed a few secret times that Sho would somehow find me and come bursting in the doors, guns blazing, to rescue me. Those daydreams were quickly killed as I remembered how I had left him, after my total loss of control at the park, on the day of Toshi's death. And then I remembered the pain that contorted his face as he begged me to stop; his disappointment, horror, and betrayal. I hated myself for hoping that he could forgive me.

After the flood of memories, I wanted desperately to go back to my room, my corner, where I could hide myself from the world and die. I should have died already. What was the point of suffering and surviving all those years of Tetsu's torture with nothing to live for? What was the point of living now, after being hopelessly broken and permanently disillusioned about any good that I had pretended to see in myself? Living was so painful.

Living was so painful…and so I lived.

I lived through all of Tetsu's torture, and I would keep living. Humans have it backwards. The time to redeem one's sins isn't after death, but during life. Death is standing down, life is enduring. I still had so many more sins to pay for, redemption to endure.

I chuckled darkly, the sound muffled and soft in the still misty predawn.

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_tbc_...

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**more A/n**:

Soooo...that was happy. Ummm...well, at least he's escaped Tetsu's clutches and is gonna be reunited with Sho soon! (we all saw the movie, right? I'm not spoiling stuff?)

Sou is anxiously awaiting Hyde's FAITH DVD, which everyone should buy, because she knows that at least the Slim's San Francisco concert was freaking awesome. XD

I'm not expecting many reviews this time around, because I know you'll all be busy with your brand new PS3's and Wii's and whatnot...because the price tags on those are oh so affordable. Watch out--don't slip in the sarcasm puddles. Gotta love inflation.

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_hey...I know! I could do reviewer replies with email, eh?_**  
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**nejitenlee13, Earthborne, Essenity, Riku Hikari Neo, Daggergal, Yami Maleci, Cyndi Black, Emiri-chan, Wilya, Karine Dragon's Heart, emikixchan**


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